


Sleepwalker

by skylar



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Sleepwalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-02-22 20:02:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2520005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skylar/pseuds/skylar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything was swell in Steve's new life at the Avengers Tower after CATWS until Tony started sleepwalking into Steve's bed.  What would our good captain do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The lock on Steve’s door hadn’t been functioning since the first day he moved into the Avengers tower with his team. In retrospect, it might have worked before Steve accidentally broke it by forcing his way inside because he didn’t know the locking mechanism was digital. At the time, the idea of explaining it to Tony to get it fixed didn’t seem so appealing. After all, Tony had commented on his technology deficiency at least twice so far and Steve wasn’t quite eager to repeat the experience.

By now, Steve had learned how to use smartphones, operate modern vehicles and an array of twenty first century gadgets but certain things still confused him. Take Jarvis for an example. He eerily reminded Steve so much of Arnim Zola even though Jarvis was always polite to him and even stayed out of Steve’s room to honor his request for privacy.

Earlier, there was a housewarming party on the upper deck. There were plenty of food and drink for everyone. Steve hadn’t intended to touch the alcohol but ended up with one or two beers and more than a few glasses of wine. At first, he drank because of the insistence from Natasha and later on, due to his new found fondness for the expensive taste of Tony’s wine choice.

The party ended roughly three hours ago. Other than Natasha and Clint who left together and Thor who flew off to Asgard, they’d retired to their individual rooms.

It was a hot summer day but much cooler at night. Steve had his double-paned windows wide open for the breezes and easy exit if there was a need. Having changed into his pajamas, currently, Steve was lying on the bed but not sleeping. Since the Super-Soldier Serum experiment, he didn’t require a lot of sleep although during WWII, he’d gotten used to pretend that he slept much more than he actually did to assume the normalcy.

Before the Avengers, before working for SHIELD, Steve usually liked to prowl the crime-ridden parts of the city but he’d found that with sophisticated A.I.’s monitoring the hot zones via various cameras and satellites, it might not be as fun but more efficient to wait for the alarm.

In his solitude, Steve felt oddly content with a sense of belonging which he hadn’t experienced since 1940s. His sadness for what he’d lost still presented, though it was more like a deep ache which he’d gotten used to live with. Perhaps, it did help that Peggy was still alive and while Bucky was still out there, Steve knew he was safe and recovering his memories.

As Steve pondered, somewhere there was a crash which Steve noticed but chose to ignore for the time being since Jarvis did not raise the alarm. Most likely, it was someone trying to find the bathroom while being drunk. Steve would come to assist if it happened again.

No sooner had he considered the idea, his door opened to let in Tony who looked dazed and confused in the dim moonlight from the window. Tony didn’t greet or acknowledge Steve. Instead, he walked quite unsteadily toward Steve, tripped over Steve’s shoes and landed face-down on the bedcover over Steve’s legs where he lay flat and not moving but clearly still breathing based on the rise and fall of his chest against Steve.

Steve waited a few beats before he chided Tony. “Stark, in case, you’re too drunk to realize, this isn’t your room.”

There was no response coming from Tony. Steve gave Tony’s chest a shove with one of his legs and he must have misjudged his strength because Tony fell right off the bed and made a pained noise when he hit the floor. There were some incoherent mumbles and rustling of clothes against carpet before Tony went quiet again.

Steve had expected Tony to wake up and accuse him of unneeded violence, not to make himself comfortable on the floor. So this outcome perplexed him and made him feel just a tad of guilt. Regardless of their relationship and how things were still awkward and uncomfortable between them with too much disagreement and not enough shared viewpoints and opinions, Tony was still his teammate, which meant Steve assumed the responsibility of caring for Tony’s wellbeing.

When Steve got off the bed to check, Tony seemed unharmed. He didn’t even smell of alcohol but that might be due to the shampoo scent covering it.

Steve helped Tony on his feet with little difficulty. However, trying to get him to walk by himself was a conundrum. After another failed attempt, Steve gave up and threw Tony across his shoulder. For a man with a big mouth and an even bigger ego, Tony didn’t weigh much. _Perhaps, Steve could even carry him while he was in his tin can without too much trouble_ , Steve thought and felt himself smiling at the image as he marched down the hall to Tony’s room.

The door opened automatically and the light turned on to let them in. Steve deposited Tony on his unmade bed not so gently and took the time to admire the result.

“Thank you for your assistance, Captain.” That was Jarvis speaking.

“You’re welcome, Jarvis,” Steve said, not letting his surprise show as he looked around the walls to locate the voice source. He was never going to be used to this.

“It’s my duty to help when one of my teammates is drunk.”

“He is not drunk.”

“Looking like it to me.”

“He is not drunk,” Jarvis repeated.

“So how do you explain this?” Steve gestured at Tony’s form.

There was a short silence before Jarvis replied, “Captain, Mr. Stark has a sleepwalking disorder which is not known by many. Please do not let anyone know and bring Mr. Stark back if you come upon him during one of his episodes.”

“Shouldn’t I wake him up instead?”

“That is not advisable due to unpredictable responses. Mr. Stark might think he was being attacked and summoned Iron Man,” Jarvis clarified.

“Did that happen before?”

“Twice.” Jarvis didn’t elaborate further and let Steve second-guess.

“I’ll do what I can but you have to promise not to tell him.”

“You have my words, Captain.”

Afterward, Steve retreated to his room for some well-deserved rest. That was the first time Tony sleepwalked into his room but it wasn’t the last.

***

Steve expected Tony to show up the next day but it didn’t happen, not the day after, the day after that, or the week after that. In the meantime, Steve tried to get along with his teammates. Co-operative living wasn’t always easy, and even with his time in the military, Steve still had some minor problems with the living arrangement. Others were less fortunate without the same experience.

As a mismatched group with different backgrounds, values and interests, it was quite difficult for them to find a common ground. There were always conflicts. Who spilled the coffee without cleaning or drank the last cup of coffee without brewing a fresh pot? Who kept putting leftover food in the fridge until it spoiled? Who left half-empty soda cans all over the place? Who drank all the organic orange juice and buying a replacement? Who left the dishes in the sink instead of the dish washer? And so on.

Steve learned that the Avengers were all reserved people who kept to themselves and didn’t talk about their problems, including Tony who seemed to have the boundless capability to drone on for minutes and hours without revealing anything personal.

Natasha and Clint had a thing in the past but currently, she was interested in Bruce who was the most quiet among them albeit not due to a lack of confidence or eloquence. Hulk and Bruce were two separate entities and Hulk wasn’t as stupid as media outlets portrayed.

Personally, Steve was closest to Natasha after having been through at least two major battles together with her. And yet, she still would not tell him anything about her or her whereabouts and occasionally, she would disappear for days and show up afterward without explanations.

Clint did that too, leaving sometimes at the same time as Natasha. Steve strongly suspected that they both still worked for Nick Fury who might be stationed anywhere from New York to Russia. Like Bruce, Clint didn’t talk a lot. He was similar to Natasha in many ways even with a different sense of humor.

Thor was the most straightforward Avenger with outgoing manners and uncomplicated thoughts. He traveled often between Asgard, New Mexico and New York where his visits were always brief and often during lunch or dinner hour. Thor always carried his healthy appetite with him but sometimes, he also brought a strong Asgardian mead, the only thing that could get Steve drunk if he drank too much.

To Tony, Howard Stark was a sensitive issue as was Afghanistan. Steve figured out how to read between the lines and not to take what Tony said so seriously because more often than not, Tony didn’t really mean it. Tony could be sarcastic and appear dismissive and insensitive toward other people’s feelings but he was actually generous and nice. Often, he would go out of his way to accommodate them and get what they needed be it an upgrade to their existing equipment or building the latest gadget. Tony enjoyed both the attention and the sense of being useful to the team, and at times, his behaviors were almost needy. It was a little difficult to imagine how such a great man and father like Howard Stark could produce such a child.

In battles, Tony always went without a plan, his actions always unpredictable and reckless. Tony believed thinking on his feet was his strength but from Steve’s point of view, it was a weakness. Steve also didn’t like how Tony relied on his armored suits and Jarvis too much and he believed that Tony needed some hand-to-hand combat training for him to not be a liability outside of his armor.

Overall, Tony spent more time around Bruce than anyone else. Whenever two of them got together, it seemed as if they isolated themselves in their own bubble with their technobabble. If Steve was honest with himself, he would say Tony and Bruce’s friendship bothered him. A lot.

Jarvis was also part of the team. He was the polite but aloof butler who ran the Avengers Tower and provided some technical support behind the scene. Unlike most butlers in movies and fiction, he was actually better at the second job than the first. He assisted them with many daily tasks whether it meant restocking the shells, doing the laundry, or sending Dum-E from the lab to clean up the mess but beyond that, they were on their own.

Prepared meals were only available during special occasions and thus, cooking duty was on a voluntary basis. Most of the time Steve would make breakfast and someone else would make dinner or order in. Every Friday, unless New York was being terrorized by the villain of the week, was either a party or movie day.

They generally had a lot of downtime to pursue other activities. Bruce worked as an adjunct lecturer at a local community college and Tony was the Director of Technology at Stark Industries. Steve himself spent a lot of time working out at the gym and drawing a comic book. He did it not only because he needed to fill the time but because he didn’t want to rely on the Maria Stark Foundation as his sole income source.

Comparing to working for SHIELD, being an Avenger was a remarkable improvement in terms of pay, working hours and benefits. Overall, the positives outweighed the negatives and Steve didn’t have a lot of issue with anything until Tony started making it a habit to show up in Steve’s room at night.

The second time was after two supervillains and one bank robbing case. Steve had been lying awake in his bed and counting sheep while watching the clock on the wall when Tony entered. Even in the darkness, Steve could see that Tony’s eyes were open and glazed over as if he was in a dreamlike state. In the very same manner as the night before, Tony walked to Steve’s bed and tripped over Steve’s shoes. Before he fell down, however, Steve caught his midriff and held him up.

“Not my bed, Stark,” said Steve in a mild admonishing tone.

Tony slept on, fully relaxed in Steve’s arms with his head rested against Steve’s chest. Steve caught a wisp of his hair which smelled amazing and held him a few seconds longer to relish the sensation of a warm body against his. Once the moment was over, Steve chastised himself for his action and reasoned that he might have gone for too long without intimate touches from a bed partner.

Steve took Tony to his room in a fireman’s carry, received Jarvis’ thanks and bade him good night.

***

On Thursday, Steve asked Sharon out for a lunch date at a Greek restaurant near the museum. After SHIELD, she’d transferred to the CIA and worked at a desk job or so he was told. Steve’d intended to ask her out much earlier based on Natasha’s advice. He just never did.

They had chosen to sit together at the outside dining area in sunny weather with cold drinks and very good food. Sharon wore a summer dress with a modest neckline, a trendy belt and matching heels. A small handgun was trapped to one of her thighs and Steve was observant enough to notice. When Steve joked about it, she laughed and deflected the topic expertly. Even with his preferences for brunettes, Steve had to admit that she was a very desirable girl with curled blond locks, a great smile and a nice figure.

She didn’t eat much but enjoyed his attention and tried to engage him without prying into his private affairs. Comparing to Peggy, Sharon was just as strong-willed and independent. While many men did not consider those positive traits, for someone in his position, being in a relationship with a person who could take care of themselves and did not require his constant attention was ideal. Having been an undercover agent, Sharon also understood and accepted the inherent risks of his profession. Steve wanted someone who could move on to live a full life if anything ever happened to him like Peggy did and she fit the bills.

When they finished lunch, Sharon let him pay. She gave him a parting kiss on the cheek and let him know that she would be happy to see him again. Steve told her likewise and watched her driving off, knowing she would be good for him if he was ready for relationship.

The walk home was uneventful. Mostly, Steve tried to resist the urge to visit the veteran cemetery or the hospice where Peggy was staying. He’d visited her in the morning and she appeared well and lucid enough to recognize him.

There was this tiny bookstore two blocks away from the Avengers Tower. Steve was quite fond of it partly because it reminded Steve of the bookstore which housed and camouflaged the lab where Steve received the Supersoldier Serum, and mostly because it seemed to be the only bookstore within a five mile radius. There weren’t many of them these days. On the news, it was said traditional brick-and-mortar bookstores such as these would be out of business within the next ten years. Steve found the idea ironic because people condemned book burning in Nazi Germany, protested and fought against censorship but collectively agreed to give up printed newspaper and books all in the name of technological advancement.

The kind of trust people had in computers was ridiculous, Steve thought as he entered the store.

After flipping through several books, Steve idly wandered the shelves, skimming titles and surrounding himself in the smell of new books. He had been looking for something to buy to support the locally owned business and couldn’t find any. That was before he passed by the magazine rack and saw one with Tony’s photo on the cover. Steve decided to pick it up and walked to the front to pay.

***

For a dwelling that housed so many people, the Avengers Tower could be surprisingly quiet, especially during daytime. Bruce was probably busy with his part-time job and Natasha and Clint were MIA like usual.

Jarvis gave Steve his standard impersonal greeting when Steve entered and disappeared from the walls. Steve went to his room to change into more comfortable clothes as he reconsidered his newest purchase. He’d gone out to avoid thinking about Tony and returned with a magazine featuring Tony. It had a very good picture of Tony though.

The door to Tony’s lab was locked when he tried. Steve’d never been here before. The place was commonly considered Tony’s sanctuary because Tony spent more time there than anywhere else. When Steve knocked, a small blue panel blinked briefly before the door unlocked and opened by itself.

The interior was quite spacious, easily spanning half of the floor. The first thing Steve noticed, however, was Tony who bent toward the screen in front of him.

“What do you want? I’m not done fixing your car yet. Been too busy. Did you get any of that? No? Ok. Actually I did finish it but it needs some touchups.”

“This is Steve,” Steve said, clearing his throat.

Tony turned his head to give him a cursory glance and said. “O Captain! My Captain! Look what I got for you.”

Next, Tony grabbed an imaginary object from the screen to put it in the air between them, brought his other arm up and then, both of his hands moved apart, palms spread. The object magnified into a holographic projection of Steve’s shield which slowly rotated as he watched. No, not his shield, Steve corrected himself. The coating was too flawless and in place of the duo leather straps on the back was a metal holster with small blue lights.

“What do you think about that?” Tony sounded proud. “You can’t always carry your shield around so I made this for you. This is the armband that projects the energy shield. You can hold it like any normal object, throw it and catch it back.”

“I don’t need another shield.”

“Why not? This is a perfect replica of your shield. I assure you that you won’t even be able to tell the difference.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Ok, fine.” Tony sounded petulant when he dismissed the holograph at last. “What are you doing here anyway if not seeking for my expertise?”

“Just checking to see if you’ve had lunch.” What he’d said was a lie but a white lie. Steve knew he wasn’t good at lying and anyone could see right through him but Tony wasn’t looking at his face.

“I have pizzas if you want some.” Tony gestured absently at a pizza box on top of a small side desk.

“I already had lunch.”

“Oh, really? More for me then. Don’t complain that I don’t share.”

Tony wiped his hands on a questionable piece of rag which looked almost as dirty as his hands and dragged his swivel chair over to the desk. When Tony flipped the lid, Steve expected something fancy in there but it looked like a store-brought pizza albeit with a lot of green on top.

“This is gluten-free. J ordered it,” Tony explained. “You can have some if you want. All those muscles probably need a lot of food for energy.”

“Glad you noticed,” Steve responded sarcastically, then became mildly surprised when Tony averted his eyes, an action that was uncharacteristically out of character. Tony might be flushing; it was difficult to tell with the oil grease on Tony’s cheeks.

Steve decided not to pursue the topic to its conclusion and let Tony have his lunch. Tony seemed ravenous. He ate with such an undisguised delight that it made Steve feel hungry himself. After a moment, Tony started talking in another attempt to convince Steve to use his invention and pitch the alternative idea of gloves with magnets. Steve’s responses were mostly out of courtesy and generally not needed since Tony did all the talking even though the most oblivious person in the world would realize that Steve wasn’t buying it.

Steve didn’t really mind. Tony might not be very convincing but he was knowledgeable and passionate about his work. His mouth was very nice, his voice pleasant, and his inner energy brightened up his expressive brown eyes. At one point, Steve helped himself to some pizza to have something to do other than watching Tony eat. By the time the last piece of pizza was gone, Steve probably had more than his share of Tony’s lunch, not that Tony paid attention to it.

“Dummy, clean that up.” Tony waved and Dum-E rolled over to fetch the empty box.

***

The third time Tony sleepwalked into Steve’s room, he once again tripped and fell facefirst onto Steve’s bed.

For such an unpredictable person in battles, Tony was surprisingly predictable when he wasn’t in full control of his actions. His daily routine might appear erratic and not following a set pattern due to his strange schedule but there were always certain constants. For an example, Tony always showered before bedtime, skipped breakfasts and consumed at least three cups of coffee in the morning. In fact, Tony was the culprit who often drank all the coffee without brewing a new pot. It wasn’t careless of him. He asked Jarvis to take care of it and Jarvis, in turn, asked Dum-E who was often unreliable.

Beside Dum-E, Tony had another robot called U. The odd naming convention for them could either be spontaneous or deliberate so that Tony could call them, ‘You’ and ‘Dummy’. If Jarvis was Tony’s butler and adviser, U was his technician and Dum-E was the housekeeper, a thankless one though because Tony always made him wear funny hats as a form of discipline and threatened to donate or recycle him.

Steve’d promised with himself that if Tony ever did that, he would rescue Dum-E.

Initially, that noble intention translated into Steve’s visits to Tony’s lab a few times a week to make sure that Dum-E was still there until he realized that Tony treated his robots like children and the idea of harming them was unthinkable to him.

The habit had been formed, however, and Steve’d grown to enjoy Tony’s company more than he should to change. In general, Tony was an entertaining fellow with his oddities and he could either be charming or adorable if that was a word that could be applied to an adult. Every now and then, Tony still reminded him of Howard although Steve’d stopped comparing Tony to his father.

There were just so many differences between them. Howard worked a lot but Tony was the very definition of a workaholic. There was always a secondary brain or an undercurrent of thoughts running inside Tony’s head and he might be sitting on a couch and watching a movie with them but if someone gave him a napkin and a pen, he would be scribbling equations and drawing diagrams. Often, Tony stayed up to work and slept the next night once he finished whatever he was working on. Tony was actually a very easy sleeper. Steve had caught him sleeping more than once while wearing Iron Man during the debriefings. Tony also had what that seemed like unlimited energy and the only thing that prevented him from bouncing was probably his heels which barely helped to compensate for his diminutive size.

The fourth time Tony sleepwalked into Steve’s room, he didn’t trip because Steve’d left his shoes on the other side of the bed out of kindness. This time, Tony lay down next to Steve on his side, his breathing slow and regular, the reactor on his bare chest fully exposed to Steve’s eyes.

Steve didn’t mean to stare. He just couldn’t look away.

The scars around the reactor were very faint in the dim light, which gave the impression that the metallic object blended seamlessly into skin. It didn't diminish how unnatural and painful it looked. Steve’s own chest ached from mentally picturing the kind of procedure that Tony’d gone through to have muscles, sinews and bones removed so that he could house the reactor in his body.

***

After the lunch date last time with Sharon, Steve’d spent some time to ponder about his loneliness and relationship in general. Since he was quite content with his right hand and imagination, Steve eventually concluded that what he needed was companionship and not sex.

“I want to adopt a dog,” Steve announced to his team on a Friday night.

“Aye, that is a great choice, my friend. A Freki-like creature is a truly mighty beast!” Thor said and resumed eating his oversized sandwich.

“No pet is allowed here,” Tony said, still appearing sober after having quite a few drinks. Steve hadn’t expected it that kind of comment from him because of Tony’s many pet bots.

“Oh, why not, Tony?” Bruce seemed surprised as well. “I think a dog would be a welcome addition to the team. I used to own one before. They make great friends.”

The next person who offered an opinion was Clint. “Yeah, I had a dog too. Lucky was a great friend.”

“No, I don’t want any dog around here,” Tony restated his objection without elaborating.

Natasha shrugged her shoulders and flipped to another TV channel. She usually didn’t want to get involved whenever Steve and Tony disagreed.

“Are you allergic to pets, Stark?” Steve asked.

Jarvis chose that moment to provide his expertise. “Mr. Stark is not allergic to pets of any kind. As a matter of fact, when he was six, he had a dog named Leo.”

“Thank you for your unneeded assistance, J,” Tony said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “You’re being helpful as usual.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at him. “Then what’s your problem? You keep disagreeing but you don’t even give me a good reason why.”

“None of us has time for pets,” Natasha said, abandoning her pretense to be interested in the news.

“Sure we do,” Clint said. “We can all share the responsibility in raising him. It shouldn’t be so hard.”

“Clint, you cannot imprison a dog in a building such as this. They need space to roam around but we don’t even have a backyard.” Her point was a common one for people who never had dogs before.

“Many people have dogs in apartments with a lot less space than our home without any problem. I’ll take care of him and walk him if no one else wants to do it,” Steve explained to her.

“I don’t want them here. I can’t have dogs. Do you understand? They bark, they smell and they make a mess.” Tony sounded unhappy for no discernable reason. Steve didn’t like it at all.

“No, I don’t. If you don’t like it, you just have to deal with it. Not everything is about you, Stark.”

The others stared at Tony and him with various degrees of concern especially Natasha and Bruce as though a replay of the Helicarrier dispute was about to happen in the living room on a team-bonding day. Back then, they had been strangers to each other but now, they were teammates, and thus conflicts should be mediated and resolved via discussions and not fistfights.

At the risk of the issue escalating into something bigger, Bruce put a hand on Tony’s back, the action distracting Tony from an emotional outburst or a verbal throwback at Steve. Tony looked at Bruce who caught Tony’s eyes and said nothing but some kind of message was being silently passed between them. Tony bit his bottom lip, his shoulders lowering, resigned.

After a few more terse exchanges through gritted teeth, it was finalized. While the Avengers Tower belonged to Tony, Steve was their leader and the Avengers’ decision making was democratic.

***

Initially, when Steve considered the adoption, he’d thought about an adult dog, a strong and fast one that could run and possibly keep up with him in the morning. The argument with Tony, however, changed his mind and Steve came back from the shelter with a ten-week-old corgi. The low-energy puppy should be able to adapt well to the lack of running space and Tony wouldn’t be able to resist his golden coat, brown eyes and cute wet nose. Steve even named the puppy after Tony’s childhood pet to sell his point.

Presently, both Clint and Bruce were cooing over Leo and even Natasha, who had objected to the idea, was also charmed even though she didn’t fuss over the puppy. Tony, on the other hand, was particularly resistant. He didn’t leave but sat apart from the group, pretending to watch TV.

Steve was very disappointed.

“Puppy, go to your mommy,” Clint said, pointed a finger at Tony and gave Leo’s butt a little push. The puppy ran toward Tony, tried to jump on the couch but failed and fell sideway on the carpet. Tony glanced down at Leo and shook his head. Not even remotely deterred, Leo tried jumping again. Sighing, Tony reached down and with Tony’s help, Leo climbed up the couch and into Tony’s lap.

“You shouldn’t do that,” Tony said in disapproval and walked over to deposit him in Steve’s arms.

“What’s wrong with you, Tony?” asked Steve, exasperated and just a bit indignant. Steve had specifically picked out the puppy for Tony and he wanted Tony to appreciate the gesture.

“No offense, Cap. Maybe it hasn’t occurred to you that some people just don’t like dogs.”

“Not you.” Steve insisted. “How do you not like Leo? Look at him. Look.” Steve held Leo’s short legs and waved them at Tony. “Hello, Tony. How are you doing today, Tony? Tell me that you to love me, Tony.”

Steve’s face burned slightly at the antics and Leo chose that moment to give a little bark at Tony who looked as if he was holding back a laugh.

“No. I can’t like you. Especially not when you smell awful,” Tony said and looked away. He was talking about Leo but he might also be talking about Steve who hadn’t a chance to shower after his morning workout.

“Tony is wrong. You don’t smell, right, puppy?” Steve raised Leo to his face, gave a sniff and got a noseful of dog odor.

Well, that still didn’t mean Tony was right.

Since Leo was technically his pet, Steve assumed the full responsibility of feeding, bathing and walking him. He didn’t mind the chores. In general, he liked pets and Leo’s presence livened up the Avengers Tower a lot. Everyone seemed happier and they mingled to talk, play and pet Leo instead of staying in groups of two. The ice appeared to have been broken. They argued a lot less and talked to figure out the issue instead of giving each other a cold shoulder. In general, they were behaving more like friends and family, not a ragtag group of misfits forced to live and work together. Steve enjoyed being part of the group and he was starting to develop a sense of belonging the way he used to feel in the Howling Commandoes.

In front of them, Tony still pretended not to care about Leo’s existence but many times, Steve caught him petting, washing Leo’s water bowl and giving Leo dog treats. The living room’s floor was littered with pet toys, a lot of them carrying Stark Industries tag or label. Tony’s workshop even had a special pet door to let Leo run freely while Steve still needed to ask Jarvis for permission to enter. Tony never once raised his voice at Leo even when the puppy chewed on his shoe, dragged a destroyed toilet roll into his workshop or knocked over an expensive ancient vase. Overall, Tony had overcome his initial preservation and become so fond of Leo that at times, it seemed as if Tony paid more attention to Leo than Steve.

It almost hurt.

***

Tony showed up to the new mandatory hand-to-hand combat training at the gym in black yoga pants and a hoodie instead of something more flamboyance. He didn’t look like the kind of man who had did a press conference wearing a T-shirt with what that looked like a purple dildo on the front the week before.

When Tony stood in front of Steve, Steve had to look down to catch his eyes since Tony had been forced to remove his heels for the mat. Tony looked mildly offended at the entire things.

“I don’t need to learn how to fight with my fists. My suit has missiles and canon beams.”

“You can’t always rely on Iron Man, Tony. When you’re in trouble, it’s your hands that will save you.”

“I’m telling you that this is where you’re wrong. In case you haven’t realized, I’m the smartest person that I know so I would rely on my brain first,” Tony said and tapped one side of his head with his fingers.

“And how would your brain help you when you face an opponent like me?”

“You?” Tony smirked and gave Steve the once-over. “I wouldn’t hit an old man…”

That was all Tony managed to say. Steve grabbed the front of his hoodie with one hand and threw him into one of the padded walls. Tony hit it, yelped and landed on his side on the floor with a loud thump. He rolled on all fours before standing up and accusing Steve. “I call foul play. I haven’t said ‘start’!”

Steve snorted, not sure if he was amused or miffed. He might be ninety-six years old but he didn’t feel that old and he hoped that Tony felt the same way. “When you’re in a battle, no one waits until you say ‘start’.”

Tony narrowed his eyes, his hands clenched up into fists to cover his front and his body shifted to a fighting stand. “Is that how you want to do it? Fine! Just don’t complain that I don’t respect my elder when I kick your ass.”

Tony must have had some boxing training, Steve thought as Tony advanced toward him and bounced a little on his feet. Turning to one side to avoid a long jab punch with barely any effort, Steve swept Tony off his feet and watched with some kind of satisfaction when Tony fell on his butt. “This isn’t boxing. You should watch your legs and when you decide to attack, you need a plan. Look for openings and pay attention to your opponent’s body but don’t look at where you want to hit next.”

“I want my suit. This is not fair at all,” Tony grumbled but stood up quickly and grew more determined. His second bout of attacks was more purposeful, his strikes faster but still way too slow for Steve’s eyesight and speed. Steve dodged about ten of Tony’s punches before he grabbed Tony’s left arm and wrestled Tony to the ground. Not giving Tony a chance to stand up, Steve used Tony’s arm to roll him and pin him down with his body from behind. Then Steve looped an arm around Tony’s neck in a chokehold for good measure.

Tony was a fighter. He struggled, tried to elbow Steve and buck Steve off in useless attempts but would not surrender, not for the first ten minutes at least.

“Resistance is futile,” Steve said into Tony’s ear, which only renewed Tony’s struggle.

“If you quote Star Trek again, I’m going to summon my suit.”

Steve laughed and considered letting Tony go but he liked Tony under him so much to do that without any concession from Tony.

“If you think you can call Iron Man faster than me knocking you out, go ahead.”

“I can think of forty-seven ways out of this, not all of them practical and seventeen of them don’t involve Iron Man.”

“Really?” Steve called his bluff, tightened his hold and didn’t let go until Tony surrendered.

After that, they sparred some more and by the time an hour had gone by, Tony was lying spread-eagled on his back, breathing but not moving.

Steve grabbed two towels and tossed Tony one. It landed on his face. Steve then put a water bottle on the floor and kicked it so that it rolled to him. Tony made no movement to take either of them. He looked defeated.

Steve waited, walking around Tony and circling him like a prey until Tony struggled to sit up and rubbed his face with the towel without speaking. He was huffing, sweating profusely and watching Steve warily, his top entirely drenched and his matted hair sticking to his skull.

“I’m done for today. No more,” Tony said, uncapped the bottle and drank some water. “Thanks for showing me today,” Tony added quietly.

“Anytime, Tony.”

Satisfied, Steve gave Tony a hand which Tony took, and pulled him to his feet. He staggered into Steve, letting Steve steal a brief hug before standing and walking on his own.

***

_“Steve, please,” Tony groaned where he lay on the mat. Steve was pressed against him from behind with his cock slotted into the crack of Tony’s ass. Both of them were wearing clothes but the material of Tony’s yoga pants didn’t hide the generous mound of his ass. Tony smelled good and looked delicious as usual._

_“Tell me you want me, Tony,” said Steve, pushing Tony’s legs apart with his knees and grounding his erection into him._

_Tony trembled in response and threw his head back to rest against Steve’s shoulder, the soft skin of his neck vulnerable and bare. “Yes, yes. I want you. All the time. You’re the hottest ninety-six-year-old that I know,”_

_Steve kissed Tony’s temple and ran his tongue along the shell of his cute ear which had been inviting for Steve’s mouth._

_Tony started to come apart in his arms, reduced to a bundle of needs and wants that could only be satisfied by Steve’s touches. As Steve ran his palm down the length of Tony’s body, Tony’s clothes disappeared under his hand._

_“Please touch my butt, Steve,” Tony begged sweetly and tried to turn over so that he could kiss Steve but Steve’s powerful body held him in place. “Please Steve. Please,” Tony wriggled his behind, asking Steve to fuck him. Steve squeezed his ass, feeling the hard muscles under the smooth and silky skin. Unable to resist himself, Steve took his cock in his hand and plunged the entire length into Tony’s body._

_“Ahhh, Steve!” Tony screamed in ecstasy as he was impaled on Steve’s big cock but he wanted more because no one ever made him feel better than Steve did._

_Raising Tony to his knees, Steve pushed Tony’s upper body down by a hand on the small of Tony’s back. Tony didn’t resist, willingly letting himself bent and folded to Steve’s liking. All he could do was to take Steve while struggling futilely so that he could have more._

__

On the bed, propped against the pillows with his eyes closed to better focus on his fantasy, Steve fucked his own fist in a swift pace. Precome was drooling from the tip of his cock to moisten the column and easing the way. In Steve’s imagination, he was grabbing Tony’s tapered waist and pounding Tony who was now spread even wider, completely open to his eyes. Steve tightened his fist a fraction around his cock the way he thought Tony’s ass would grip around it.

Steve groaned Tony’s name as he felt himself drawing closer to the edge.

“Yeah, so good, Tony. Almost there,” Steve muttered to no one.

At that moment, the door to his room opened and Steve turned his head only to find Tony standing there in his pajamas.

Startled, Steve gasped out Tony’s name and suddenly came all over his hand and his chest. Tony walked forward slowly and in that unsure way of his in his sleep but still managed to reach the bed. Steve was given only a few seconds to recover and bolt into the bathroom while trying not to knock anything over in his haste.

“Fuck, fuck…” Steve cursed as he washed his hands and upper torso before dunking his head in the water sink.

It did very little to cool his face that was burning in embarrassment.

God, why didn’t he fucking lock the door? The lock didn’t work. That was why.

Steve pulled his face out and shook his head in denial which sent water splattering all over the place. Any other time, Steve would be appalled by the mess but right now, he was more guilty and mortified by the event that just transpired.

Steve stared at his wet reflection in the mirror, chewing on his bottom lip.

His fantasies were his private thoughts and even if he’d been jerking off to them, he saw no harm done as long as he wasn’t acting on them. He hadn’t been getting any action for more than seventy years and a man had to make do somehow.

So why was Tony the featured star in all of them?

Everyone wanted him and Steve wasn’t an exception.

But he was Captain America and there was still Peggy!

Captain America or not, he was a man with needs and he was technically still single!

For roughly five minutes, Steve stood there and fought with his own thoughts, accusing and justifying his actions and stalling so that he didn’t have to go out and face Tony.

Eventually, after tiring himself from the internal battle that ended in a stalemate as usual, Steve dried himself off and walked outside.

On his bed was Tony, a small lump almost swallowed by the pillows and the blanket.

Reminding himself that Tony hadn’t seen anything, Steve sat down on the edge of the bed and roused Tony with a hand on his shoulder.

“Tony, wake up. You can’t keep walking into other people’s bed uninvited like that.”

Then Steve jerked away as if being burned when he realized that he was touching Tony with same hand that he’d used to jerk off.

Wiping his palm on his pants, Steve tried once more. “Tony, if you don’t get off my bed, I’m going to kick you out. I’m serious this time.”

Still, Tony didn’t move. Frustrated, Steve stood up and started pacing the room as he considered his dilemma. He couldn't force Tony to wake up or let Tony sleep in his bed and yet he didn’t want to carry Tony out.

When it became too much, Steve had to leave his room for some fresh air and grab himself some water before he could return, this time more calm and collected.

Nothing had been changed between them, Steve told himself as he watched Tony sleep. Tony appeared so relaxed and peaceful, oblivious to everything, his hair perfectly tousled even in his sleep and the dark soot of his long eyelashes so pretty on his pale cheeks.

Steve’s eyes wandered and caught a dark bruise on Tony’s wrist where Steve had grabbed him during training. It surprised Steve because he didn’t think he’d been that particularly rough on Tony. Wondering if Tony was injured or had more bruises, Steve put two fingers under Tony’s chin and raised his head. Sure enough, around Tony’s neck was a ring of purple bruises, proof of what Steve’d done to him.

Steve pulled his hand away, sighing. If Tony had given up sooner, Steve wouldn’t have to choke him that hard.

When he took Tony back, Jarvis thanked Steve and remarked that he enjoyed watching their training.


	2. Chapter 2

“Jarvis,” Steve called, standing outside his room and looking around. He wasn’t sure if Jarvis would be able to hear him or not so he called again.

“Good morning, Captain. How may I assist you?”

“Morning, Jarvis. Do you think if you can get my door fixed? It’s not working anymore.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Jarvis told him pleasantly and started running lines from his program. “Begin scanning. Accessing the structure. Damage detected. Searching for replacement parts.”

Then Jarvis went silent. Steve waited for Jarvis to say something and when his patience ran out, asked. “Jarvis, you’re still there?”

“Yes, Captain. My estimation shows that your door will be repaired in appropriately ten minutes.”

“That’s fine. I can wait,” Steve said and stared intensely at the lock for any change. Jarvis was repairing the lock but he couldn’t see anything happening to it. Technology once again had failed him.

Since Steve was quite unhappy feeling out of touch with the new century, when he saw Tony walking to him carrying a toolbox in his hand, he asked with some annoyance and an eyebrow raise.

“What are you doing here?”

“What do you think I’m doing, genius? Fixing your door, of course!”

“But Jarvis—”

“Yeah, J sent me the 3D scans and located the parts. Now, I need to replace it.”

Then Tony pulled out an old-fashioned screwdriver and worked on taking the digital lock on the door out. The entire thing made Steve feel irrationally cheated because he’d expected some kind of technological mystery. Still, to be fair, Jarvis didn’t say that he would fix it himself.

“What have you done to your door?” Tony asked, fiddling with the wires after removing the lock.

“It broke.”

“It didn’t break by itself. Did you punch it? Angry much, Cap? Who ate the last sesame bagel today?”

Steve hid a smile behind Tony, pleasantly surprised that Tony paid enough attention to notice his favorite kind of bagels despite Tony making fun of him.

“As a matter of fact, I haven’t had breakfast,” Steve began.

“Me neither. I hope there’s still coffee left. Hm, Jarvis? Can you check the kitchen and make sure that I have some coffee?” Tony asked while attaching a new lock in place.

“Yes, sir,” Jarvis responded quickly and disappeared once again.

“I was thinking that I could make breakfast for us both,” Steve suggested. It always bothered him that Tony never had breakfast with the team. At least, he should try Steve’s cooking once before dismissing it as inadequate and searching for other options. Plus, Tony had shared his lunch with Steve so Steve felt somewhat obliged to return the favor.

“No need. J is making it for me.”

“He’s making coffee, not breakfast, Tony.”

“Coffee, breakfast… what’s the difference?” Tony said absently to Steve’s dismay. He wasn’t just telling Steve that all he had for breakfast was coffee! “All… done! You can put your thumb on the panel here or say ‘Door, open’ whenever you want to get in. Pretty easy, isn’t it?”

Tony waited a few seconds for Steve to check the door and when Steve did not do it, he shrugged and packed up, clearly disappointed.

“Captain, your door has been repaired in precisely nine minutes ten seconds,” Jarvis supplied from where he was observing.

“What about the coffee?”

“Two minutes and five seconds before it is ready, sir.”

“Excellent, J,” Tony said and turned to face Steve. “Look. I just fixed your door. If you can’t be grateful, at least, try not looking at me like I did something wrong. It’s too early for this and I want my coffee. Uh, all right. I’m leaving.”

Steve grabbed Tony’s arm before Tony managed to take a step. “Tony, you’re coming with me.”

Tony looked confused but didn’t fight when Steve started dragging him along to the kitchen. Still, he asked, “What for?”

“Breakfast. You’re going to have breakfast with me!”

Fifteen minutes later, Tony was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. It was Tony’s fourth cup actually. Steve would have stopped Tony by the second cup if he knew another way to make Tony stay.

Having browned some sausage links, sautéed the mushrooms, fried some bacons and cooked the hash browns, Steve was waiting for the omelets. Once he finished putting out the plates and utensils for Tony and him, the eggs were ready. He divided everything up, piled them onto two large plates and placed them in the middle of the table.

“Feel free to help yourself,” said Steve, proud at himself for making breakfast in recorded time without burning anything.

Tony looked at the food and then Steve, his brows slightly crinkling. “You’re being nice today.”

“I’m a very nice man, Tony. If you want, I can make you breakfast every day,” Steve said and transferred some food onto his plate. Personally, he couldn’t understand how Tony could survive mornings on coffee alone because he probably couldn’t.

Tony opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by Clint who chose that moment to walk into the kitchen.

“Breakfast, Avengers!” Clint yelled, grabbed an empty plate and quickly took a portion. Within seconds, Natasha and Bruce showed up and they both proceeded to empty one of the two shared plates. Then Thor came out and took the rest.

Tony watched the entire thing in amusement and sipped his coffee, his empty plate sitting in front of him. Steve didn’t know what to say. Everything had gone out of control too fast and he didn’t know how to stop it. While he enjoyed making breakfasts for the team, he had cooked all that food specifically for Tony! When would Tony agree to let Steve cook and feed him again?

Bruce was the first to notice that Tony was not eating. “Oh, Tony, you haven’t got any?” Bruce asked, scooped two sausages and some mushrooms from his plate and placed them on Tony’s plate.

Tony beamed. “Thanks, Bruce.”

“No problem!” Bruce ruffled Tony’s hair fondly.

The frustration suddenly became too much and Steve had to walk to the water cooler to calm down. He felt unappreciated and jealous and these feelings, in turn, made him feel petty and bad about himself. He couldn’t blame his team for being highly energetic and needing the calories to sustain them and he also couldn’t fault Bruce for sharing food with Tony.

Once Steve managed to school his face into a neutral expression, he poured himself some water and returned to the table. Tony didn’t notice him. He had been busy listening to Bruce’s latest experiment with rapport but he seemed so happy and excited that it didn’t take long for Steve to be infected by the same good feelings.

***

Peggy was crying. The sounds she made were broken, punctuated by the syllables of his name and occasional sniffles.

Steve was holding her hand which felt fragile as it gripped his tightly. “Don’t cry, Peggy. I’m here with you. I’m still alive,” Steve said and smiled. He’d said the same thing to her many times but she always forgot.

“Steve,” she sobbed, dabbed her eyes with a napkin and tried to say something only to cry again.

Steve sighed and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, trying to provide what little comfort that he could. It took a long time for her to stop crying.

Time had been kind to Peggy. Even though her hair was as white like clouds, she was still beautiful especially when she smiled. Steve wished he’d been the one she married for they could have been so good together.

Today, she didn’t mention the dance the way she always did whenever she recognized him. Instead, she showed him photos of her family and some postcards from her grandchildren. Steve pretended to be interested.

After a while, she asked. “Steve, have you found someone yet?”

Steve shook his head. “No, you’re my girl, the only one.” He’d found the right person in Peggy and even if she wasn’t meant to be his, Steve didn’t need anyone else. He didn’t regret his sacrifice for the country but he regretted having lost his chance with her forever.

She looked like she might start crying again but her strength pulled her through her grief.

“I don’t have much time left. You need to start thinking about yourself.”

“What are you saying? You’re going to live forever.”

“Don’t be stupid. No one lives forever,” she said tiredly and seemed to start drifting off.

During practice later that day, Steve was being especially hard on Tony who would not give up no matter how many times or how hard Steve tossed him, pushed him around, pinned and choked him. Tony must have blacked out at least five times. Steve knew he was lashing out at Tony and should redirect his anger to something else. Steve wanted to shut Tony out. Steve needed to keep some distance from Tony but Tony was making it hard—he would not stop coming at Steve the way he would not stop intruding into Steve’s thoughts since that first time Steve saw his personal file in a folder from Nick. Plus it was so relieving to have a living target to spar with if he could call what they were doing sparring.

That night, Steve locked the door and went to bed early with an extra layer of blanket for comfort. In the morning, he found Tony sleeping outside his door with Leo’s nose tucked into his neck. At the sight of Steve, Leo gave a tiny ‘woof’ in accusation and Jarvis politely informed Steve that the floor was an acceptable sleeping surface for Tony in that sarcastic way of his and suggested Steve to return to his beauty sleep. When Steve was still pondering whether he should listen to Jarvis, Dum-E showed up and grabbed the back of Tony’s collar as though he was about to drag Tony away. Steve was forced to intervene and take Tony instead since the option of having Dum-E treat Tony like a sack of potatoes didn’t sit well with him.

Even so, Steve still locked his door whenever Tony upset him or he wanted to spend the night undisturbed.

At least, Tony didn’t sleepwalk every day. The frequency of it depended a lot on his mood. He was most likely to visit Steve at night if he had a good day. Otherwise, he got himself busy to the point where he forgot he was unhappy and slept in the lab once exhaustion took over.

***

It was another uneventful day when Steve walked into the workshop. The first thing that he noticed was Tony who was using a pair of tweezers to dig inside a hole in his arm under which was a piece of rag spotted with blood.

“What do you need?” Tony asked without looking up, his attention wholly concentrated on the task.

“Tony, is that a bullet hole? How did you get shot?” Steve asked, a little alarmed because for the past few days, there had been no fighting of any kind. Tony should not have gotten injuries without Steve’s awareness and plus taking care of your own bullet hole wasn’t one of the greatest ideas because there could be deadly fragments. Tony should be in the hospital!

“Is that concern I’m hearing in your voice? No, that was a joke. I didn’t get shot and this isn’t a bullet hole. What you’re seeing here is one of the ports to contain my sensors for Iron Man.” Tony explained, not looking at Steve, his brows drawn together and his teeth gritted as he wriggled the tweezers. After a few more seconds, he slowly pulled out a metallic object and dropped it into a tray on his side as Steve watched, uncomprehended.

Unlike Steve, Jarvis seemed to have an exact idea of what was going on since he cheerfully announced, “Four. That’s the last of the sensors, sir! You would make a fine surgeon indeed. That is if you don’t kill yourself beforehand.”

“Thanks for the compliment!”

“You’re welcome, sir.”

“You see J here?” Tony said and waved the tweezers at Steve as if Steve was somehow in agreement with Jarvis. “He enjoyed watching me doing these things so much. He even recorded them.”

Internally, Steve revived his opinion of Jarvis as an enabler, not a caretaker and questioned whether Jarvis’ chief objective was to protect and assist Tony.

“Why did you put them in your arm?” Steve asked as Tony wiped the blood from his arm with the same rag.

“Oh, one of the sensors was acting up after our practice last time. Of course, I could replace it but I figured that it was time for a full upgrade.”

“Why are they in your arm?” Steve asked again, frustrated and stricken with a sense of helplessness at Tony’s oblivious disregard for his body.

“Where else should I put them? In my brain?” Tony asked incredulously and then one of his eyebrows raise. “Actually, no. That’s not a bad idea at all... Actually, that’s an excellent idea! Instead of these four sensors, I can make some nanochips and inject them right—“

“No, Tony! You’re not going to put anything in your brain!”

“What? It’s a good idea.” Tony looked puzzled. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of blood?”

“I fought in WWII on the front line. I’ve killed more people than you can count.” Steve’s frown deepened. He didn’t want to be angry at Tony but he was. “I’m not allowing you do this.”

“You realized that you’re in my home and ordering me around, right?”

“I’m not ordering you. I’m asking you.”

“Fine, boss...” Tony drawled. “I guess I’m staying with the sensors then.” Tony tossed the tweezers into the tray and grabbed an injection gun. Disregarding Steve’s concern, he started shooting the new sensors into his arm, each time letting out a pained noise as Jarvis counted.

Once that was done, Tony dabbed his arm and Dum-E showed up to clean up the mess.

Steve said nothing and left for the gym to punch some sand bags.

Tony was being Tony. He put a hole in his chest for the battery and he put holes in his arm for the sensors. He treated his body like another tool without thinking about how other people might feel. Steve didn’t like it but it wasn’t his prerogative to stop Tony.

***

This was another disturbed night with Tony making an unexpected appearance. One of Tony’s arms was swathed in bandage from wrist to elbow, the wrapping not neat but acceptable considering that Tony probably attended to himself. When Steve pressed a finger into a dark spot on the bandage, Tony pulled his arm away, cradling it protectively against his chest. Steve considered it a good sign that the embedded sensors didn’t seem to affect Tony’s active range of motion.

“I’ve seen many types of stupid but never your type of stupid,” Steve told Tony in a quiet voice. “What would your father think if he knows that I let you hurt yourself?”

Shifting a bit closer to Tony, Steve reconsidered his next step. He didn't want to do it but he had to mostly due to concern exaggerated by his inherent distrust in Tony’s words. If Tony had lied to him and drilled some holes into his head, Steve must know even if he was unsure what he could do with that knowledge.

Steve started at the base of Tony’s nape, rubbing his thumb firmly to find any foreign object under the skin as he held his breath, afraid of what he might found. Then, Steve slipped his hand upward and sideway to feel along Tony’s skull.

It was a slow process because every now and then, Tony would tilt his head to lean into the touch and distract Steve temporarily, which caused Steve to lose his progress and have to backtrack.

After spending more time than needed to check and recheck Tony’s scalp, with relief, Steve declared Tony clear for the time being and reminded himself to check Tony again in a few months as protocol indicated.

He began to remove his hand after the impromptu examination but decided to leave it a little longer. There was an odd satisfaction and pleasure in seeing his large hand against Tony’s head and the contrast of his restrained strength versus the vulnerability of Tony in his sleep. Tony seemed completely unaware of his surrounding and Steve liked to think that it was because Tony explicitly trusted Steve not to harm him.

Soon, Steve found himself resuming the touch and turning it into a gentle massage which Tony seemed to enjoy. Tony’s hair was silky but perhaps a few inches too short and Steve found himself repeatedly carding his fingers through the strands as if that might invalidate his initial finding.

“I don’t really know what to do with you anymore.” Steve sighed after a while and bent down. He caught himself and stopped right before he kissed Tony, embarrassed of himself for his action and appalled by the impulsion which had sprung on him quite suddenly.

He wasn’t about to start anything that he might regret because Tony was his teammate and more importantly, his friend’s son. While he might indulge himself in the fantasy in which Tony desired him and he was an unattached man, unencumbered by real life constraints and protected from the consequence, acting it out was not the course he wished to pursue.

Mentally giving himself a shakedown, Steve carried Tony back to his room and locked his door afterward, determined to avoid Tony for as long as he could.

Steve managed to do it until Thursday morning when Tony once again decided that he’d rather spend the night on the floor outside Steve’s room than on his comfortable bed.

On Friday, Tony had a cold. He looked miserable with a red nose and dry eyes from where he sat opposite Steve at the long table. Steve would send Tony to his room to rest if he didn’t believe that the action might give the others the wrong impression that a cold was a good excuse to avoid an important team meeting.

This time they were organizing a superhero meet and greet party hosted at the Avengers Tower. It was the first step to implement Tony’s idea to grow the Avengers and build a reserve force large enough to handle any threat.

As they went over the party plan, frequently, Tony would sneeze and apologize for the interruption as Bruce handed him Kleenex tissues. So far, they had discussed and mostly agreed on the date, location, schedule, food, refreshment, decorations and entertainment. It went relatively smooth because the time commitment and budget were both nonissue. They only needed to make the decision. Jarvis would carry out the execution.

At last, the only thing left to do was to go over the preliminary guest list comprised of people they individually suggested and put together by Jarvis.

“If we see the Punisher, we capture him,” Steve said, tapping the name to highlight it on the transparent holographic projection screen. It seemed like a good chance to put a bad man in jail where he belonged.

“What?” Tony who asked, seeming surprised based on his tone.

“We’ll have a containment team ready for him as soon as he arrives. Of course, he’ll be given the option to go with us willingly although I doubt that he will. Tony, do you think if it’s possible to lock all exists at my signal?”

“We don’t attack our guest,” Tony stated.

Steve raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He hadn’t expected that Tony would be the one who defended the Punisher.

“He is a dangerous criminal, a murderer and a wanted man,” Steve enunciated each word slowly, looking directly at Tony and trying to get his point across.

“His method may be questionable but he’s a vigilante just like many others on the list,” Tony insisted, unswayed. His position was clear.

“That still makes him a murderer, Tony. You’re not arguing with me about this.”

“Cap, we’re throwing a party, not a trap to capture the unsuspected. It’s supposed to be a fun event where people have a good time and get to know each other.”

“And why can’t we do both? Isn’t that what you would say? Why choose one or the other when you can have both?”

“This is unacceptable. Regardless of what Frank did in the past, we don’t trick him into this. It’s not right. I’m not doing this!” Tony raised his voice at the end of his sentence, stood up and pushed his chair back in indignation.

“You’re not listening! You’re being stubborn and unreasonable! A killer is a killer. You don’t give him a pass just because he’s at a party.”

“Stubborn? Are you talking about me or you? And this isn’t just any party. It’s our party! We invite him!”

“Not we. You! He’s your guest, isn’t he?” Steve asked and walked closer to Tony, pointing a finger at him. “How do you even know his real name and where he lives to invite him? What are you hiding from me, Tony?”

“What? No, I’m not hiding anything. Why are you accusing me?”

“Are you selling weapons to criminals now?”

“No! Why is this about me again? You—” Tony was suddenly interrupted by a sneeze and had to take a moment to wipe his nose. His eyes were red and so was his face, possibly due to a fever. Distractingly, Steve wondered if Tony’s heat could be felt if he was to touch Tony’s forehead.

“You’re sick. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Why don’t you go to your room?” Steve suggested, trying to soften his voice but he ended up sounding patronizing and dismissive instead.

“You’re the one talking nonsense here, not me!” Tony was angry, seeming a hair’s breadth away from throwing a punch at Steve. Steve didn't want to fight a sick man but if Tony started it, he knew he wouldn’t go easy on Tony.

Bruce and Natasha, who had been watching from afar with Clint, suddenly cut in between them.

“Stop fighting, you two. This is getting out of hand,” said Natasha.

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m the one with the anger issue here,” Bruce commented in a deceptively mild voice and turned to Tony. ‘Tony, you shouldn’t be walking around. Take your antibiotics and rest for an hour or two. Doctor’s order.”

Tony did not indicate that he’d heard Bruce. He was staring unblinkingly at Steve, his eyes wide in a familiar hurt expression. He’d looked at Steve like that in the Helicarrier when they were throwing insults at each other.

The staring contest and argument would have continued longer if the alarm didn’t go off at that moment and break the tense atmosphere. Steve was the first who looked away to deactivate the beeping on his Avengers membership card. They spent the next few minutes to listen to Jarvis who showed them the hot zones and gave a brief account of the incident which involved three dinosaurs terrorizing the city.

“Put on your suit,” Steve said and ran off to grab his shield and uniform as everyone else dispersed.

The subsequent battle took less than an hour. Steve and Natasha evacuated and saved trapped people. Hulk directly engaged with one of them while Iron Man flew around to distract the other two and Clint shot them with tranquilizer. Afterward, under instructions, Jarvis arranged the transporters to ship the animals to the Salvage Land.

Once they returned, Tony disappeared into his workshop. They resumed the party planning without him but when Jarvis displayed the guest list again, a few names were missing.

***

By one o'clock, Steve was still awake. For two hours, he’d been tossing and turning in his bed and trying not to think about the earlier argument with Tony. In retrospection, Steve realized he could have chosen a more gentle approach to get his point across to Tony who had gotten ill after spending the night on the cold floor. Steve didn’t feel guilty about it. That didn’t prevent him from hoping that Tony would come by again even if he wasn’t sure what difference that would make.

Another hour passed by during which Steve was looking either at the ceiling or the door before there came some noises outside. The indistinct sounds grew louder and clearer as the source approached his room and suddenly, something heavy hit and rattled his door, which prompted Steve to come out and investigate.

Tony couldn’t possibly have launched himself bodily at Steve’s door, could he?

Outside, however, Steve found Dum-E who chirped in apology.

“What are you doing there, pal?” Steve asked and gave Dum-E’s arm a pat. Dum-E pointed at a medium-sized wrapped box on the floor and started rolling away.

Curious, Steve picked it up and ripped off the wrapping. Inside the plain looking brown box was an Iron Man helmet with some text positioned above the face mask. Due to the lack of lightning and the bad handwriting, Steve had to take it inside to make out the words. It read:

> _To Cap,_
> 
> _I don't know which head is harder: yours or this one!_
> 
> _from_
> 
> _Iron Man_

Raising an eyebrow at the message delivered in Tony’s fashion, Steve experienced a brief moment of amusement as he touched the scrawled handwriting and wondered whether Tony was still up.

There was someone who could tell him.

Steve put the helmet on his dresser and sought for Jarvis in the hallway.

“Jarvis, are you there?” Steve asked, keeping his voice low even though Thor, the only who shared this side of the floor with him, was currently in Asgard.

“How may I assist you, Captain?” Jarvis appeared after a few seconds.

“Do you know where Tony is?”

“Mr. Stark does not want to be disturbed. What else I can I assist you with?” Jarvis said in a cold mechanical voice which Steve found quite disagreeing.

“That’s all. Thanks, Jarvis.” Steve dismissed him. The A.I. had told him more than he needed to know.

“Good night, Captain,” said Jarvis and left.

***

From inside Tony’s workshop, music was blasting, almost loud enough to vibrate the walls. The fogged floor-to-ceiling glasses blocked the view from outside, a sudden impenetrable barrier between Steve and his target. He knocked a few times, asked Jarvis to let him see Tony and received no response. It wasn’t until Steve started prying at the digital panel that he was allowed entry.

“Tony, turn off the music!” Steve yelled to be heard above the music. A moment later, Tony made a signal with his hand and it was turned off. 

“Not too loud. I have a headache,” said Tony, sitting in a chair with his back toward Steve. He had various hologram screens floating around him but he seemed to be working on a piece of armor on his desk. There was also a half-empty wine glass by his left arm.

“I bet you do, considering what kind of music you were listening, Shellhead.”

“Are you calling me ‘Shellhead’?” Tony asked, his body going still. Steve couldn’t tell what Tony was feeling—surprise, perhaps but definitely not annoyance.

“You always give other people nicknames. I think it’s about time you get one yourself.”

“Shellhead, huh? I prefer ‘The Golden Avengers’.”

That was what they called Tony in the magazine Steve had brought.

“Your armor isn’t even golden,” Steve pointed out and Tony laughed. “Fine. Have it your way then. What are you doing here at this hour anyway?”

“I could have asked the same question of you,” Steve said and approached him from behind.

“What does that look like? I’m working. Actually, no, I think I’m having a party in my head. So many things dancing right now. You’re not dancing, aren’t you?” Tony spun his chair around and startled when he saw Steve who now noticed that perhaps he’d invaded Tony’s personal space by standing closer than he should. Steve found himself unable to move away, suddenly trapped in Tony’s wide brown eyes.

For a few long seconds, none of them said anything and the silence made the beatings of his own heart seeming so loud.

When Tony pushed him back by a hand on his stomach, Steve allowed it. The touch was brief but the warmth from Tony’s hand lingered and spread on his skin.

“Thanks,” Steve told Tony.

“What? What’s that for?” Tony sounded confused, pushing his chair back and standing up, leaning against the desk.

“The gift you gave me.”

“The gift. Oh, right. That’s what you’re here for, correct? Are we done here? I think we’re done unless you want to apologize for what happened this afternoon.”

“I suppose I could have considered your point of view and approached the issue differently,” Steve conceded as he tried to calm his heart.

“Of course, it wasn’t all you. I could have thought about how you felt about the matter, respected your opinion and tried to work together more as a team,” said Tony, his face a shade of red as if he was coming down with a fever. It was a worrisome thought.

“I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding.”

“Likewise. Now that this is behind us, you don’t mind if I turn on my music and get back to work?”

“It’s past 2 a.m. I think you’re going to bed,” Steve said and seeing Tony’s frowning and remembering how Tony tended to fight him if he didn’t phrase thing the right way, he quickly added. “It’s a friendly request.”

“No, not today. I have a lot of things to do.” Tony turned away and looked at one of the screens, already dismissing Steve and the suggestion. Steve didn’t like it at all.

“I’m going to carry you to your room if I have to.” After all, Steve’d done it so many times before.

“Our good captain can crack a joke but sadly, it’s not even remotely funny.”

“It’s not a joke.”

Now Steve had Tony’s full attention once more as the other man looked at him incredulously. Steve didn’t back up, letting Tony know with his eyes that he had no choice in the matter.

“No.” Tony’s arms crossed over his chest to emphasize his point. “You’re not making me.”

That was all Tony had to say before Steve grabbed him around the waist, tossed him over a shoulder and started walking.

“Steve, let me down!!!” Tony yelped and started struggling. “Steve, Steve, stop! You’re embarrassing me! What if somebody sees us?”

“If you keep yelling like that, somebody will.”

That threat kept Tony’s voice down but didn’t cease his fighting until Steve reached Tony’s room and threw him on the bed.

“Now that isn’t so hard, is it?” Steve asked and brushed Tony’s messy hair away from his forehead so that he could look at Tony in the eyes. He didn’t know brown could be a beautiful color until he saw it on Tony. After a moment or two, Tony still hadn’t said anything, which worried Steve a bit. “What is it this time? Do you want me to call Bruce to check you up?”

“Don’t! Don’t call him. I don’t like what he gave me.” Tony crunched up his nose, seemingly snapped out of the trance he’d been in.

“Are you going to sleep then?”

“Okay,” Tony agreed and pointed at his feet. “I need my shoes off first.”

“Ah, yes, I forgot.”

Steve slipped a palm down to Tony’s right ankle and peeled the shoe off. He removed the other shoe in the same manner and then the socks before pulling the covers up to Tony’s neck.

“Is that better?”

“Much.”

“All right. Anything else that you want?”

“Give me a goodnight kiss.”

“I’m not giving you a goodnight kiss.” Steve rejected the request immediately even as his eyes dropped to Tony’s mouth. Steve didn’t mind kissing him. He just didn’t know if he could stop there. When Steve caught Tony’s eyes again, he belatedly realized that perhaps, Tony didn’t mean to ask him for a kiss on the mouth.

“Don’t joke like that again,” Steve angrily told him and walked out without another word.

***

When Steve woke up in the morning, he wasn’t alone in bed. Under the comforter was Tony, snuggling against Steve and blowing hot air onto his skin with every breath. For a few confusing moments, Steve pulled Tony to his chest and idly stroke Tony’s back. In response to the petting, Tony murmured quietly in his sleep and tried to physically draw even closer. Steve gave the top of Tony’s head a small kiss and rubbed the exposed skin of Tony’s stomach. With a warm and willing body by his side, naturally, Steve thought about sex but as soon as the idea occurred, he realized he was not dreaming and rolled out of bed immediately to grab his T-shirt on a chair nearby and put it on as though the extra layer would help him keep some distance from Tony.

“Tony…” Steve sighed. “You need to stop crawling into other people’s beds. It’s not right. What if…” Steve paused there, refusing to pursue the thought.

After another suffering minute, Steve loaded Tony up and carried him outside. While walking, he found Bruce heading in his opposite direction.

“There he is! Where did you find him?”

“Tony got lost.” Steve answered briefly, omitting some details and he was glad that Bruce didn’t pursue the topic further.

“Let me help you,” said Bruce, extending his hands and offering to take Tony.

“No, that’s fine. I can handle this.” Steve brushed Bruce off, suddenly feeling protective of Tony. He also recognized his conflicting schools of thought about Tony’s sleepwalking into his room. While he didn’t like his privacy intruded by an uninvited guest, it had felt pleasant to wake up with Tony and Tony always felt nice in his arms—compacted, warm and just the right size and weight for him to carry.

It wasn’t until Tony was safely in his own bed with Bruce playing doctor and making Steve’s presence redundant that Steve left.

***

“Good morning, Steve.”

Steve looked up from the magazine he’d been reading to see Sharon walking toward him in her high heels. The receptionist at the lobby had informed him that Peggy had a visitor and made him wait.

“Good morning, Sharon.”

“Are you here to see my great aunt Peggy?”

“Yes,” Steve said mutely, surprised. Somehow, he hadn’t made the connection between them before even though Sharon reminded him of Peggy sometimes. It was the kind of coincidence to have a pretty neighbor who was also a SHIELD agent.

Sharon sighed, having noticed his doubt and suspicion. She crossed her legs and tilted her head, the posture somehow making her appear more feminine. “Do you have a few minutes to talk? My great aunt was agitated and they gave her something so she’s sleeping right now.”

They walked outside together, passing the employee-only parking lot to a grassy area with some shades. It was a nice enough spot to sit down, have lunch and watch the squirrels as time flied.

“You can start talking, neighbor,” Steve said. It came out more stern than he had intended.

“Where do you want me to start? The part where I grew up and fell in love with stories about you from my great aunt and joined SHIELD because of them? Or the part where SHIELD gave me a chance to live near you and protect you?”

“I didn’t need protection or the spying.”

“I wasn’t spying on you, Steve! How could you say that?”

Steve looked at Sharon. She was indignant but still pretty, her energy and strong personality coming through her words and body language. She seemed so capable and reasonable, unlike Tony.

“I wasn’t faulting you for it. It was part of your job,” Steve said. “I just need you to be more honest with me because I want you to be someone that I can trust.” If he could make peace with Nick and Natasha for keeping things from him, he could make peace with Sharon.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I always wanted to tell you but I never had the chance. Are we still friends then?”

“Yes,” Steve confirmed. Sharon was someone that he wanted to be on his side.

“Can we see each other more?”

“Yes but not like that…” Steve turned his gaze away and toward the blue sky with wisps of white clouds dragged like streaks by the winds. He was thinking about Tony and how it was such a nice day to be sick and indoor.

Sharon asked something that he couldn’t quite catch so he returned his attention to her once more and asked her to repeat.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“No,” Steve replied and brushed an imaginary leave from his T-shirt. Sharon wasn’t convinced.

“I think you’re seeing someone.”

“No, I’m not seeing anyone.”

“But you do like someone? Because I can tell.”

“Why do you say that?” Steve asked, curious and aware that he wasn’t refuting her opinion.

She smiled at him in a secretive way. “Woman’s intuition.”

“You could have told me that was telepathy instead.” Steve laughed and sat down on the grass. She did the same and from her purse, procured some snacks and a water bottle for him.

“I don’t know,” Steve said. “It isn’t really like that. It isn’t the same at all. The way I liked Peggy was different.”

“There are many ways to like someone. You were much younger back then…”

“And now I’m ninety-seven. Thanks for the reminder, Sharon.”

She covered her mouth but once she removed her hand, she wasn’t smiling anymore. “No, really. If Peggy was your first love, then it would always be special to your heart. That doesn’t mean any feeling you feel for the person who comes after her will be somehow less.”

Steve shook his head and ran a finger through his hair as he compared his relationship with Peggy and Tony. “What I felt about Peggy was so pure. She kept me strong and alive in battles and all that I ever wanted was a dance from her. This person, on the other hand, I get irritated and annoyed at them all the time because they make me worry so much and they always do the opposite of what I want. But this morning, I really liked it when I saw him in my bed …” Steve trailed off. He was suddenly missing the feelings of Tony snuggling up to him and the scent of Tony’s hair.

“Are you telling me that other than the intimate time together, you’re not into her?”

Steve stared at Sharon, who stared back at him as if this was the first time she saw him. Steve wasn’t sleeping with Tony if that was what she was saying but she wasn’t wrong for implying that there was nothing between him and Tony other than the sexual attraction, which Steve wouldn’t act on because it was wrong.

An awkward silence came between them. Steve tore off the pretzel bag, took a piece to put in his mouth and gazed into the distance. The landscape was lush with multiple shades of green dotted with yellow flowers. Steve could draw the scene if he had a pencil and a sketchpad right now.

“I’m sorry for asking. I’m not judging you and it’s none of my business.”

“I wasn’t having sex with them...” Except in the dreams, Steve internally added. “It’s complicated. I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Ok,” she accepted gracefully and asked him to share his snacks. They stayed to talk some more, mostly about Peggy and Sharon’s new job until almost noon when Steve thought Peggy would be up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not AoU-compliant.

For two weeks, the party deck of the Avengers Tower had been redecorated and modified to host the party. A stage had been built for a live band and a temporary bar was set up to serve free alcoholic drinks. Scattering the space near the glass wall and the edge were luxurious couches of various sizes for those who preferred to converse in smaller groups. Dinner would be at the dining hall two levels down with plenty of food for everyone. The catering menu consisted of a four-course meal prepared by professional chefs in their industrial kitchen and served by a wait staff team from the same catering company. Jarvis took care of the security duty while U and Dum-E manned the reception table to check in guests and collect messages for their guest book.

So far, everything had gone well. One would expect such a large group of people from different backgrounds in costumes to be a messy affair but Steve found that it wasn’t the case. Most people showed up on time. Those like Spider-Man and Daredevil took the unconventional routes and swung in over the railing. The rest either arrived at the ground lobby and took the elevator up, or landed on the rooftop and walked down.

Thor was more interested in the food and wine than the guests while Natasha, Clint and Bruce stayed in the background, leaving Steve and Tony play hosts.

For the first two hours, Steve mingled about to meet new people and socialize while enjoying the drinks and calming his empty stomach with appetizers from the small trays carried by the hovering waiters and waitresses. Tony had shown him a circular network map with a symbol on each node representing a superhero and briefly introduced some of them to him as Steve tried to memorize as many as he could. The grid, built with the Avengers at the center, presented the different possibilities, the logical paths for them to grow and evolve. While Steve didn’t fully understand the intricacies of the system right away, he was in awe by the multitude of powered individuals dotting the map like stars and conscious of its great potential. So now, Steve could greet the heroes by their codenames and have a good base knowledge of their strengths and weaknesses and an idea of whether they could be a good fit for the Avengers. To his surprise, he found that he had positive impression toward nearly all of them, even Wolverine who spent most of the party wasted.

The Guardians of the Galaxy was the latest to arrive. They were a group of odd characters coming from outer space to visit Tony. Steve didn’t mind that they came late. What that bothered Steve the most was Peter Quill who attached himself to Tony’s side shortly after arrival.

After the hearty dinner during which Steve unsuccessfully detached Peter from Tony’s side with his glares, they moved back to the party deck. The lights had been dimmed except for the stage to draw attention to Tony at its center as showy firework exploded in the background in Tony Stark’s fashion.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” Tony said once the firework ended. “Thank you for coming. I hope you all had a good time so far. We’ll have some DJ music for dancing after this but first, I would like to introduce you a very special guest tonight. Please welcome Sting!”

The crowd started clapping and shouting as the famed musician walked on stage and another light turned on to focus on him.

“Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Tony is my long-time friend and I’m also a big fan of Iron Man. It’s an honor for me to be here with him on the same stage. And now, without further ado, Tony and I will sing a song for you. It’s called ‘Drive to Tears’.”

The guitar riffs began right away leading them into the song. Tony put his hands in his pant pocket and he seemed lost in the melody in front of the microphone, oblivious to the doubtful audience. Then he started singing and Steve was surprised at the vocal before being entranced by the music. Tony’s voice was deep and smooth with a wide range. He sang with confidence and conveyed the song’s poignant moments with both strength and vulnerability.

Having lived at the same place with Tony for months, Steve didn’t know Tony could sing amazingly well. He was charmed but he wasn’t the only one.

When the floating disco balls were turned on and dancing started, Tony was the most popular. Among Tony’s many partners were Johnny Storm, Peter Quill, Colonel Rhodey, Captain Marvel, Thor, She-Hulk, Bruce, Wolverine, and even Rocket Raccoon!

Tony danced with anyone and everyone who asked except Steve and whenever Tony had a brief moment of break, Peter and he would be together, whispering and sharing private jokes. In the past, Steve’d claimed his lack of knowledge in dancing but it shouldn’t be difficult. After watching the floor for some minutes, Steve knew enough of the basics and he figured he could do the rest with reflexes.

“What are you standing here for?”

Steve turned to Natasha who suddenly appeared by his side. She seemed a bit tipsy, a flush darkening her cheeks even though her hair and clothes were impeccable.

“Drinking,” replied Steve and drained his glass.

“By yourself that is. Isn’t that a little lonely? Why don’t you ask Tony for a dance?”

“Not… interested.”

“Oh, how come? Don’t tell me you’re still angry at him. He’s pretty irresistible tonight though.”

Steve didn’t disagree. Tony was beautiful tonight. He made such a fine figure in his crisped tailored suit, sensual, full of life and energy in every move. At times, he seemed so close but also so out of reach and seeing him in other people’s arms made Steve’s heart swell to the point where it seemed all that he could taste was the heat.

“I’m not going to dance with Tony and you’re not setting him up with me,” Steve pointed out. She needed to stop doing this. He tried dating Sharon and it didn’t work.

“Don’t say I didn’t help. Now, please excuse me. I think I have a dance with Tony waiting for me,” said Natasha and sauntered to where Peter and Tony were standing. Steve walked to the bar and had his glass refilled with the strongest liquor that they had.

The party lasted until midnight. The farewell was more than a little excessive with Tony getting hugs and kisses from both men and women, some of whom lingering longer than they should. Steve stayed by Tony’s side and made sure that the last guest left and no one stayed the night, drunk or not.

Afterward, Steve let his team retire early while he waited another hour for the DJ and catering team to pack up to thank them personally. Jarvis and the bots took care of the cleanup and whatever else that was needed.

At last, the last person who wasn’t an Avenger left the premises and Steve retreated into his room, tired, perhaps not physically but mentally. He pictured himself going to bed and sleeping straight for the next six hours. Therefore, finding Tony sleeping soundly in his bed when he turned on the light surprised him. And following the surprise was the anger.

“You, Tony…” Steve said. “You’re incorrigible! How could you flirt with every single person out there and still have the audacity to crawl into my bed? What do you think I am? Do you even think about me or my feelings at all?”

Steve waited for a few beats and continued. “You’re selfish, you know that, Tony? You don’t care about anything including yourself. You make me worry about you. You make feel guilty and jealous. I don’t even know why I’m still letting you into my room. I can’t believe that I ever considered you as something more...” Steve trailed off and sighed, deflated at last.

After the tirade, Steve felt much better and calmed down enough to understand that he was pouring his heart out to someone who wasn’t listening. It wasn’t meant to be heard anyway.

Steve walked close, sat down and threaded his hand in Tony’s hair to feel the silky strands. He’d wanted to do that when he was watching Tony on the stage. Tony murmured in his sleep and turned to his side. He looked somewhat distressed, discomfort and heated in the suit that he’d slept in.

Deciding to help, Steve supported Tony up and peeled the jacket down his shoulders and off his arms. He unbuttoned the top few buttons of Tony’s now slightly wrinkled shirt and pulled the tail off his pants. There was some red lipstick on Tony’s neck which Steve wiped off with the handkerchief he found in Tony’s suit pocket and a bit of water. Steve also made sure to clean Tony’s face and lips until Tony was freed from other people’s marks.

Then he took off his own jacket and lay down next to Tony and rearranged their position so that Tony half-sprawled over him and he had an arm around Tony’s waist in an embrace. Now that Tony was safe and he could unwind, Steve was glad that at the end of the day, Tony came to him instead of the many that he’d danced with.

Steve still couldn’t name his feelings toward Tony. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t love. Love should be a beautiful and pure emotion not the ugly jealousy, need for possession or the endless filthy fantasies that Steve had of him. And most importantly, it shouldn’t hurt.

***

Since the party, Steve stopped keeping tracks of how many times Tony sleepwalked into his bed.

Not much had been changed except that Steve started getting used to talking to Tony when he slept. Sometimes, Steve told Tony about the things that troubled him. Other times, Steve elaborated on certain ideas to add to the conversations they had during the day. Mostly, Steve recounted the events of his day and whatever that came to his mind.

Steve didn’t always talk to Tony, however. Many days, Steve simply sat and watched him sleep, seeking temporary peace from the act before he took out his sketchpad and started drawing.

Ever since his latest comic draft was rejected by the Daily Bugle because they thought the main protagonist was a ‘copycat of Captain America with a less American name’, Steve had quitted his endeavor. He still drew, just not for the sole purpose of making some extra cash on the side anymore. It wasn’t as if he needed any anyway.

Initially, his subjects were Peggy, Bucky, the Howling Commandos and Howard. He had good memories of Bucky due to the recent encounter with him but everyone else was always sketched in the same pose and in the same clothes because Steve couldn’t recall how they looked like from a different angle or what else they might wear.

Once he moved on to drawing Tony, his pencil seemed to flow easier on paper and Steve attributed it to the reasoning that a live subject was much more interesting even if Tony didn’t move much during his sleep and tended to curl up on one side.

In general, Steve liked it most when Tony went to bed in nothing but a pair of sweatpants riding low on his hips and baring his torso to display the reactor embedded in Tony’s chest. It marred and scarred Tony and yet, the flaw only made him more fascinating to Steve.

When time permitted, Steve sketched Tony in the workshop and that often happened after they had lunch together, a thing which had been becoming more frequent over time. Tony seemed to enjoy Steve’s quiet presence even if he had very little interest in Steve’s art in the same way that Steve had very little interest in Tony’s inventions.

After a while, Steve’s sketchbook was starting to be filled with pages and pages of Tony in various poses and Steve got to a point where he could close his eyes and still be able to trace Tony with accuracy in his mind.

***

“Do you want to go for a walk once I’m done with the dishes?” Steve asked casually, taking the empty plate and utensils in front of Tony.

“That sounds like a good idea. Would you two mind if I come along?” Bruce asked before Tony could reply, sounding both calm and earnest even though Steve had been careful to lower his voice so that the rest of the team didn’t overhear.

“Bruce…” Natasha shook her head.

“Look at who got himself into trouble this time,” said Clint, smirking and yelped when Natasha kicked him under the table.

“Am I in trouble?” Tony asked, looking suspiciously at Steve. “Is this about your bike? No, I haven’t forgotten it. I’ve been too busy but it’s in the plan. In fact, I can go down to my workshop to work on it right now and you can get your bike in a few days.”

Steve shook his head, dismayed and unsure know how his team had come to such a wrong conclusion.

“Tony, this is not about the bike. I need you to… help me walking Leo sometimes,” Steve said, omitting the truth that he felt like spending time with Tony somewhere that wasn’t the lab. “He’s also your responsibility,” Steve stressed the point and then turned to Clint, Bruce and Natasha. “Can you three take care of the dishes for me while we go out?”

“Not a problem, Cap. Make sure that Tony comes back in one piece,” Clint joked.

“You boys are so dense sometimes,” Natasha sighed and started running the water.

Ten minutes later, Steve and Tony were walking together and heading toward the park. Tony were handling Leo’s leash and having some trouble keeping him on the path since Leo tended to stray to stick his nose into everything that he saw.

“Isn’t the weather nice today?” said Steve, breathing in the night air and stretching his back.

“You said you wanted to talk to me. What is it about again?”

“That wasn’t what I said. You’re doing exactly what I asked for. Going for a walk. That’s all there is to it.”

Tony looked a bit confused and out of his element, which only made Steve want to tousle Tony’s hair and tell him to relax.

“In our line of work, it can be hard to disassociate but under the uniform, I am a person, one who is perhaps not as good as Captain America.”

“I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“I don’t either Tony. I don’t think I know what I want. Time flies so fast. I closed my eyes that one time and seventy years had gone by me. Perhaps, I want everything around me to slow down so that I can appreciate what I have, appreciate the moments and the things around me.”

“Since there is so little of it, shouldn’t we utilize it to the best of our ability? I can go back to my lab and work.”

“Tony…” Steve trailed off, not knowing how to make him understand. Then, seeing the flower bushes that Leo was sniffling at, he bent down to pluck a flower out. “This is a jasmine. Doesn’t it smell nice?”

Tony took the flower from Steve’s offering hand and brought it to his nose.

“Scenting anything? These seem to be more fragrant during early morning and especially during dewy days. If you can wake up early to come and run with me sometimes, I will show you.”

“At what time? Nine or ten AM?”

Steve smiled at Tony’s pretense to be ignorant but didn’t call him out on it.

“Hey, some people are nocturnal creatures. Perhaps I don’t need to wake up early but you need to stay in bed longer.”

Steve didn’t reply. He was thinking about that one time he woke up with Tony cuddled against him and the warmth of Tony’s body against his. Unconsciously, he leaned a bit toward Tony as if he was seeking for that lost warmth and just when he was about to pull Tony closer, Leo started running off and dragging Tony along.

Slowly centering himself, Steve watched Tony walking further and further away and realized such a bad idea hugging Tony had been.

“Ton—“

Suddenly an explosion interrupted Steve’s sentence and made him duck and cover his head from the flying debris, broken twigs and leaves. Following the missile, a giant robot had landed about thirty yards away and as soon as Steve saw it, it was starting to walk and spray bullets toward him. Steve did a backflip out of the way and landed behind a car parked by the curb.

“Tony! Where are you?” Steve screamed, looking at where he last saw Tony and Leo and his heart seemed to have sunk to the bottom of his stomach when he realized Tony was down and not moving. He shouldn’t have let Tony out of his sight, his internal voice yelled at him as he quickly asserted the threat. Once anger and instinct kicked in, Steve ripped the car door out with his bare hands and with it as a shield to cover him from another salvo, he charged forward and threw the door at the robot. Immediately, it turned its fire to the door, giving Steve an opportunity to bridge the distance, jump up and land on its shoulders. Not giving it enough time to respond, Steve punctured the vulnerable joint at its neck with his fingers, grabbed a handful of wires and yanked them out as the robot turned its guns upward and tried to shoot his head off. Steve didn’t let it go. He ripped into its neck and severed what he could with his hands until it broke down and dropped like a pile of rusted metal.

The adrenaline of the battle soon was overwhelmed by unfathomable fear that made him stagger on his feet. Steve walked through the rubble and fallen trees to where Tony lay and dropped down to one knee next to him. It felt like a déjà vu when he put a fretful hand on Tony’s chest to sense his heartbeats and saw Tony’s eyes fluttering open.

“Ouch, hurt…” Tony groaned and touched his head. “At least that is a sight I want to wake up to. I hope you didn’t kiss me this time.”

“Promise you won’t scare me like that again.”

“Only if—” Tony couldn’t finish his sentence because from nowhere Leo jumped out a furiously wagging tail and started licking Tony’s mouth.

“There, there, buddy… I’m glad you’re ok too.”

***

It took them half a day to load remains of the robot in the Quinjet and back to the Tower and a few more hours for Tony disassemble it and trace the origin to a seemingly abandoned car manufacture full of HYDRA scientists and goons. On short notice, they gathered what they could of the team, which meant no Thor, and rushed in with Iron Man taking a backseat due to his recent head injury.

Everything was going well until Iron Man abandoned his assigned position to intercept several missiles heading their way and got knocked out of the sky. Without Iron Man’s advice on their enemy’s week defense points, they were forced to use brute-force attack and send in the Hulk in the direction of fire to cover for them. The end was anticlimactic with more casualties than initially planned. As soon as authorities arrived to take care of the scene, they quickly took off. The trip back to the Avengers Tower felt at least twice along as Steve spent most of his time in the Quinjet counting seconds and staring holes into the back of Iron Man’s head with his hands curled into fists so not to punch something in frustration.

Once they landed and Iron Man immediately headed for the open hatch.

“Tony, a word please,” Steve called after him.

“Make it quick. I have a lot of things to do,” Iron Man said, turning his head slightly toward Steve before stepping down on the landing pad.

Steve took a few long angry strides and caught up to him. Usually, they didn’t do post-battle debriefing unless the mission required a follow-up and this time definitely warranted one.

“Tony…” Steve started, taking a deep breath once they were face-to-face. He needed to calm down and talked some sense into Tony. “What the hell were you thinking out there?”

Iron Man’s emotionless face looked at him, the bright unblinking eye holes shielding Tony’s eyes.

“I gave you an order and I expected you to listen and do as you were told!” Steve continued.

“What order? Oh, the one where I was supposed to be sitting on my butt and twiddling my thumbs?”

“Tony, I asked you to be our technical support and our backup, not to charge in and play the hero. No one wants a liability in the team!” Steve said, unable to temper his anger even as he was aware that the rest of the team was watching them with various degrees of apprehension. After the incident at the park yesterday, Tony had to go out of his way to get hurt and disregarded Steve’s concern about his safety. Steve was their leader. It was his responsibility to protect the team but it wouldn’t work if Tony kept behaving like the wild card and not listening.

“I saw the missiles. I disabled them. Everyone got home in one piece. The plan worked out. Mission accomplished. I don’t get what your problem is.” Tony sounded flippant and unrepentant even in Iron Man’s distorted voice. He clearly didn’t care and that just pissed Steve off.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Steve gritted his teeth and took a step closer. Iron Man lifted his chin and squared his shoulders in a challenge. Steve was going to throw a punch here if Tony didn’t back up.

“Take that off when you talk to me!” Steve pointed a finger at Tony who was quiet for a few seconds before touching the mechanism on his right ear to flip the mask up. There was blood on his face running from under the helmet to his forehead and down to the bridge of his nose. Contrary to Steve’s earlier assumption that Tony was being defiant and aggressive, Tony looked tired and somewhat dazed.

Bruce was alarmed, his hand reaching out to touch Tony. “Tony, are you hurt anywhere?”

Tony tried to push Bruce away. “Not a big deal. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Let me take a look and decide that. I’m the doctor here.”

Tony looked askance at Steve with narrowed eyes, his expression unreadable. Steve fixed him a stern look, his jaw tightened as he told himself to finish the speech he’d meant to say.

“You need to learn how to be a team-player, Tony. Because if this continues, someone is going to get killed and it’s going to be my fault. I don’t want to regret this and neither do you.”

“Tony, please come,” Bruce insisted. He threw a dirty look at Steve, clearly taking Tony’s side while the rest seemed ambivalent in their silence.

***

As far as sulking went, Tony did a very good job at it. For an entire week, Steve didn’t see him except for that one fire accident in Hell’s Kitchen when Iron Man helped to get a trapped kitten out of the building.

Tony stopped showing up for meals and Dum-E fetched coffee for him instead. He skipped the team bonding weekend, combat training and let Steve deal with the bureaucrats who came to quiz them on the HYDRA infiltration. When Steve tried to get in the workshop, Jarvis coldly denied him access without providing reasons.

Overall, Steve was worry even if he told himself that Tony was an adult who was capable of taking care of himself and plus, Tony had Jarvis to care for his wellbeing. Steve was also angry and no matter how many times he hit the Iron Man mask on his dresser, it didn’t help.

On the eighth day, Tony sleepwalked into Steve’s room before midnight. All the lights were off because Steve had intended to sleep even if he could not. When Tony crawled into his bed on top of the covers, Steve waited for ten counts as he prepared his verbal lashing before turning on the lights. He was going to wake Tony up and kick Tony out this time even if he’d been missing Tony and hoping to see him. Or that was the thought until Steve looked at Tony.

The cuts bruises on Tony’s face were healing great even if they still looked red and tender. His eyes seemed sunken due to the dark circles underneath. His left arm was swathed in bandage from the wrist all the way up to the sleeve of his black top and there was some bandage peeking out from his collar.

Steve took a peek at Tony’s chest but it was hard to tell the extension of the damage with all the bandages on Tony’s torso. Tony could have broken a rib or two or the device on his chest might have been caved in and put too much pressure on his internal organs. Steve had seen a man who died due to such injuries in 1941.

“You’re such an idiot, Tony. Idiot…” Steve said, his fingers running down Tony’s wounded arm and drawing words on it. Steve had lost so much and he couldn’t bear to lose anyone again, especially Tony who had quietly wormed his way into Steve’s world. Steve cared about him more than he could admit. Life after waking up in the twenty-first century had no meaning until he read the dossier from Nick Fury and realized Peggy was still alive and Howard had a son. Peggy was his past and Tony was his present. Steve had zoned in onto Tony on the Helicarrier in an attempt to take him apart and understand the makeup of him. When Tony fell from the wormhole during the Battle of New York, Steve had experienced genuine fear and experienced it again when Tony dropped after taking the missiles head-on. It was difficult for Steve emotionally. Tony didn’t understand and short of taking the Iron Man suits away, Steve didn’t how to stop him from doing dangerous things and risking his life.

That night Steve stayed up cuddling with Tony until sunrise.

***

***Tony’s sulking after battle

On Thursday of the third week, Pepper gave Steve a phone call out of her concern for Tony because apparently, Tony’d also stopped going to Stark Industries corporate meetings and returning calls.

“All right, I’ll take care of this,” Steve promised after assuring Tony’s ex that he would talk to Tony and hung up. Then he summoned Jarvis and told him, “Please relay to Tony that Iron Man is being prohibited from field missions for two months and any attempt to disobey the order will put him under discipline.”

“I shall do that, Captain,” replied Jarvis in a flat voice which Steve found unsettling and contradicting to his original opinion that he preferred Jarvis to be more machine and less human.

Suddenly worry that having a third party deliver his words might result in unexpected results, Steve decided to visit Tony’s workshop to tell Tony himself. When he was about to knock, however, the sliding door opened and Tony barged out only to collide with Steve in front. Steve caught Tony with both hands on Tony’s arms and held him to his chest for a moment.

Tony looked up at him, his expression one of surprise at first and then anger.

“Rogers!” Tony yelped.

Startled, Steve quickly shoved Tony backward as if he’d caught fire and immediately pushed his way inside the lab before Tony could shut him out.

“What made you think you can do this to me?” Tony asked, his small frame shaking.

“Good question. What made you think I can’t?” Steve raised an eyebrow, though his voice stayed annoyingly calm. This was the confrontation Steve had expected. “You’re an Avenger and you have to operate under my rules, Tony.”

“You… you…” Tony trailed off, his emotions making him speechless for a moment. “Why are you doing this? What have I done? Why am I being punished?”

“You’re not being punished.”

_No, you’re not. I’m trying to protect you,_ Steve thought.

“Then why am I not allowed in field missions? You’re being unreasonable here!!” Tony’s voice was higher than usual, indicating his distress.

“This is temporary, Tony.”

“A probation!”

“It’s not a probation.”

_You need that time to recover from your injuries,_ Steve wanted to say.

“You’re not being excluded from missions. You’re being moved from the front field to support. You told me before that you’re not a soldier and perhaps we don’t need one.”

Tony visibly gasped and took a step back, his eyes widen in betrayal.

“You’ve been holing up in here without coming out, without talking to anyone. You haven’t been attending meetings, accepting phone calls and talking to people. How do I trust you from saving people and not compromising the missions when you’re throwing tantrums and behaving like a child every time you get criticisms? Show me that you’re a team-player and then we can change your status,” Steve said, ending with a disapproving stare.

“I went out. You just didn’t see it,” Tony sounded subdued as he pointed at an Iron Man-shaped hole in the glass wall.

“Tony—”

“Wait a second. I know how that looks like. No, I wasn’t drunk at all. There was a fire and that was the fastest and shortest way out. I can put a window there if that makes you feel better. Jarvis, can you do that for me?”

“Yes, sir. It’ll be done.”

“Perfect.” Tony rubbed his hands together as if he just talked himself out of another bout of lectures from Steve.

“When will you start listening, Tony?” Steve asked, exasperated.

“I’m listening right now. In fact, just tell me what to do. I can be a good boy and attend meetings and parties and answer all the messages if that’s what you want. Just let me stay with the team.” Tony’s lips trembled at the end of the sentence, a ‘please’ at the tip of his tongue.

Steve regarded him. That was a big concession from Tony and Steve knew he wouldn’t be able to push him further. Still, Steve looked away from Tony, frowning as if he was struggling hard about his decision.

Dum-E was sweeping the floor and rearranging a stack of empty pizza boxes next to the trash can which was too small for the boxes. Steve didn’t want to think that those were all Tony had been eating for the last weeks or so.

“No skipping out on Friday nights and combat practices. No taking naps during debriefings. Try to have meals with the team sometimes and follow my orders to a T. Did you get all that?”

“Sure. Anything you want. You’re the captain here.” Tony blinked and cast his eyes to the floor, a gesture of submission or defeat.

“I’m on cooking duty tonight and I want you to be there. Make sure to clean up first,” Steve said gently, touching a smudge of grease on Tony’s cheek with his thumb.

True to his promise, at dinner time, Tony was one of the first at the table. Everyone was visibly delighted to see him, especially Thor, the least emotionally repressed person among them. The addition of Tony had a positive impact on the mood and created good camaraderie among the team. Steve’s argument with Tony had affected them as a whole and Steve was glad that it was now behind them.

“Enjoy your food,” Steve said, piling up vegetables onto Tony’s plate and putting in down in front of him.

“This must be a new kind of punishment.” Tony made a face, gingerly poked at a piece of carrot with his fork and pushed it with the greens to one side.

“Just healthy food. After all the pizzas, you need some vegetables in your system. We don’t want you to get sick again,” Steve said as he served food to the rest of the team and pretended not to see when Bruce, Natasha and Clint stole some of Tony’s broccoli.

***

“What?” Steve asked in surprise and then he followed it with “No.”

Peggy arched an eyebrow, the gesture so familiar that it made his heart ache. “Yes, Steve. I’m leaving for England. I haven’t seen it for over thirty years and this seems to be the right time for one last visit.”

“When are you leaving? Are you going to come back?” he asked, already knowing the answer. She smiled and shook her head lightly.

“Tomorrow and I’m not coming back.”

What about me? Steve wanted to ask or beg her to stay but it would be selfish to demand her to prioritize him over her country.

“I’m… I’m coming with you,” he said at last, displaying both his concern and love for her if she was to accept them.

“Thanks Steve but I don’t want you to,” she said, rejecting his offer. “I know you’re worried about me but you don’t have to. I’ll be fine. England is not that far. You can always visit me any time. A lot of people here need you more than I do. You have to protect them and keep them safe just like you always do.”

As Steve was about to reason with her some more, she closed her eyes as though tired or asleep and Steve knew the decision was final. She’d always been the type of woman who chose her own path and nothing could change her mind. Not even him.

Peggy didn’t look well. Her breath was so light that her chest didn’t appear to move and with her white hair and pale skin, she almost blended into the background. Everything was so still and everything seemed to freeze and the only thing that moved was the low music in the background. Soon, the feeling of sadness and loneliness were starting to permeate his body. Shivering from the cold, Steve went to check the temperature control. It was currently set at seventy-two and he bumped that up a few degrees.

“Are you still there?” Peggy asked from behind.

“Yes,” he said, walking back and sitting down. “I’m here. I’m always with you.”

“Thank you, Steve. You are so sweet. I can’t imagine that you’re still single. That gal you’re seeing? She’s such a lucky girl.”

“Let me guess, Sharon told you that? No, she’s wrong because I’m not seeing anyone.”

She looked into his eyes and then sighed. “You probably should start asking her out. Take her to a dance perhaps.”

Tony’s image quickly came to Steve’s mind and Steve forcefully suppressed it. “I only dance with the right person and if my memory serves me right, you still owe me one.”

For a few moments, she said nothing and he thought he’d lost her.

“Would you please turn up the music and help me up? We will dance to this song,” she said suddenly, surprising him with her request as she pushed the cover back.

Steve held her arm until he was sure she could stand on her own before he cleared the chair and adjusted the volume of the ancient CD player. Then he grasped her right hand with his left and wrapped his other arm around her waist, hugging him to her.

In Steve’s chest, his heart was beating loudly. It was the moment and yet he still didn’t know how to dance other than or knew what song to expect other than that it was an instrumental piece based on what he’d heard of the CD.

“Calm down, Steve,” said Peggy, having read his mind. “This piece is called ‘Sleeping Lady’ by Alex de Grassi. It’s not very popular and they usually play it on a steel-string guitar except for this musician who uses nylon strings. I heard him playing it at a wedding and had to buy his CD.”

Then the music started and Steve felt a chill down his limbs. The song’s opening was slow and quiet but after an unhurried warmup, the melody grew steadily more complex. It wasn’t exactly the type of music to dance to. At first, Steve tried to replicate the steps he saw at the party and follow the difficult beats until Peggy pinched him and he realized that the dance was about being in each other’s arms and letting the music flow over them. When the tremolo began, she was leaning fully into him as they swayed slowly at the same place in a slow dance. By the time the song ended, his heart was aching both from the beautiful music and the loss of what could have been.

When he helped Peggy back to the bed, she fell asleep almost instantly. Steve turned the music down and stayed by her side for as long as he could before bidding his farewell.

***

“How are you dealing there?” Natasha asked as Steve took his jacket off. Glancing over, Steve located her on the couch in her pajamas. She was watching some movie on mute in the dark.

“Fine as always,” Steve said, hung his jacket on the wall-mounted coat rack next to Mjolnir and walked briskly out of the living room. Natasha might be one of his friends but she could be too intruding sometimes for her own good and he needed some personal time right now.

Sure enough, she was right on his heels and they ended up on the rooftop together because Steve didn’t want her in his room.

“Why are you following me?”

“Let’s say I’m concerned for a friend.”

“Thanks but no thanks. Your concern is misplaced.” Steve pinched the skin on the bridge of his nose, trying to starve off the coming headache and hoping that would make Natasha back off.

“I know about Peggy,” Natasha said slowly.

“Of course, you do. Sharon must have told you,” Steve said, raising his voice and then apologized for his rudeness.

“It’s ok. We girls talk but not what you think we do. A few days ago, Sharon was telling me that she’s leaving to England for a few months with her aunt and today, you’re coming back here after midnight, looking like a kicked puppy after being a no-show for the team night. You’re not Tony. You don’t skip team nights.”

“Oh…” Steve trailed off. He’d forgotten what day it was.

“This is unhealthy, Steve. You need to start letting go and learn to love someone else. Tony is still available and you two always gaze longingly at each other.”

“I did not gaze longingly at Tony,” Steve said, not sure if he was annoyed or not. “And Tony doesn’t like me.”

“How do you know that? I think he’s quite fond of you.”

That statement was so false that it made Steve laugh ironically. “He’s fond of the robots. He’s fond of Jarvis. He’s fond of my dog. He’s fond of you and Bruce and Thor and Rhodey and Pepper and every person that he danced with at the party.”

Natasha looked incredulously at him and after reading his face, she sighed. “I don’t know how you might come to that conclusion. I think you’re scared of rejection. Well, I’m sorry to tell you this, Steve but rejection is normal. It happens. That doesn’t stop you from trying. What’s the harm anyway? You may have him if you ask or you can never have him. No one likes rejection, even Tony. Yes, even Tony. Especially Tony. He had all but one relationship and it didn’t go well. Does that remind you of someone?”

Steve frowned at being compared to Tony. Natasha got a point there. That didn’t mean he was going to accept her unwanted advice.

“Kindly remind me again. Why are we even talking about this?”

“Not my business, right?”

“I need some time for myself,” Steve declared bluntly, staring into the distance at the city lights, tired of being nice and sick of prying questions when all he wanted was to deal with the wound in his heart. Alone.

“That I can’t do. Men do stupid things all the time. What if you jump off the building right now?”

Steve glanced down as if being prompted by a cue. The vertical drop wasn’t as tall as the few that he’d done from helicopters but he didn’t have his shield with him to help slowing the fall.

“What are you looking at?” Natasha sounded worried.

Steve judged the impossible distance of the next stories and down again. Once he spotted what that looked like a window about five floors down, he vaulted his body over the balcony. Behind, Natasha was yelling, “Steve, goddammit! I didn’t tell you to jump.”

It wasn’t a long drop. Steve let his palm slipped along the building’s smooth glass for any handhold and as soon as he felt space, he shot his hand out to grab the window ledge, used it to push himself through and did a small roll to avoid any impact.

Standing up, Steve looked around at the pieces of machinery and equipment and realized he was inside Tony’s workshop. The window was precisely the location where Tony had said he would install one. How convenient.

“Good evening, Captain,” Jarvis greeted. “That was quite an extraordinary entrance for a non-flyer. Please step lightly to not disturb Mr. Stark.”

Ignoring Jarvis, Steve walked around some floating diagrams and spotted Tony lying on a cot in a corner, where he must be sleeping for the last few weeks.

“This is not a place to sleep, Tony,” Steve said in disapproval. Almost as if going through some automatic motions, he walked over to load Tony in his arms and carried Tony to his room. It wasn’t until he was removing Tony’s socks that Steve realized that he should have left Tony alone.

_Too late to change his mind_ , Steve thought as he tucked Tony in and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Natasha had suggested that he should date Tony but the mere idea of a relationship right now made his bones feel weary and he was feeling his age more than he ever did. Things had been easy with Peggy. They shared the same values and interests and the attraction was mutual. With Tony, nothing seemed straight-forward. They disagreed and argued more often than not, and yet, he wanted Tony all the time, more than anything. That strong desire made him feel guilty and angry because he shouldn’t feel that way toward Tony.

Steve’s train of thought was interrupted when Tony sat up and tried to get off the bed in an uncoordinated way.

“Tony,” Steve said, unable to find an excuse for being in Tony’s room at night.

Belatedly, Steve realized that he was watching Tony sleepwalking when he caught Tony’s glassy unseeing eyes.

Just as Tony was about to head for the door, Steve reached out to grasp Tony’s hand and pulled Tony to him. Tony fell into his lap, started struggling weekly and only stopped when Steve ran a palm down his spine.

For a few minutes, they stayed in that position before Steve tucked Tony in once more. Then Steve walked to the windows and checked to make sure they’re securely locked. Next, he scoured the floor and the path to his bed for any sharp object in case Tony might step on them and walked back to remove the chair which Bruce had left. When he returned from the kitchen after putting the chair back where it belonged and getting some water, Tony was having a nightmare. At every short interval, Tony would bodily flinch at something in his dream while whimpering and tearing the covers.

Frowning, Steve nudged Tony gently on one side.

Suddenly, Steve sensed a draft of air behind him and turned at the same time Iron Man grabbed his arm. In return, Steve grabbed its arm back to keep it in place, and with his other hand on the bed as support, Steve sent the suit a roundhouse kick in the chest area. It crumbled instantly and fell in pieces on the floor.

“That wasn’t bad at all, Captain,” commented Jarvis, sounding quite delighted and Steve started suspecting that Jarvis had purposely let the armor attack him.

Peeved, Steve asked, “If you could stop it, why didn’t you?”

“Well,” Jarvis drawled, not denying the accusation. “I don’t take actions without explicit inputs. Mr. Stark doesn’t usually like me operating outside of my directives.”

Based on what Steve remembered of Tony’s story about that one time Jarvis set Iron Man’s flight path to Tennessee, Jarvis had reasons to have reservations.

“Furthermore, since Mr. Stark summoned the armor, to stop it would be going again his wishes.”

“Fair enough.” That was some ridiculous logic but Steve couldn’t argue with him. “How about cleaning up these and keeping them locked away tonight unless you want me to smash them up? Tony wouldn’t be very happy to see his suit trashed.”

A moment later, the Iron Man pieces lighted up and one after another, they flew outside without assembling.

With that taken care of, Steve turned his attention back to Tony. The nightmare still hadn’t stopped and it might have gotten even worse since Tony was tossing and turning and his whispering was almost audible.

Steve brushed back Tony’s matted hair from his forehead and told him in a soothing voice. “Easy, Tony. Easy. I’m right here.”

Since that helped somewhat, Steve started rubbing Tony’s shoulders and back and eventually, as a last resort without waking Tony up, climbed in bed so that he could cuddle with Tony. It took a few minutes for Tony to calm down and sleep peacefully again with his nose tucked in Steve’s neck.

At this point, Steve felt drained of energy. He was, however, finding some comfort in treating Tony like a teddy bear. Whenever he considered leaving, it seemed like too much work and considering how many time Tony had slept in his bed, Steve found it easy to justify his staying in Tony’s. What Steve really wanted was to sleep for a long time and perhaps when he woke up, he would be home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to scrape what I wrote earlier so there's another chapter. I'm sorry about that.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey, Nat. I’m sorry,” Steve said at breakfast after sliding into one of the empty seats at the kitchen table. This morning, he had woken up even earlier than usual and having done some reflection during his morning, he thought he should apologize for his rude behavior to her.

“What for?” Natasha looked up from her cereal bowl, her eyes sharp and guarded.

“For being cross with you yesterday. I didn’t feel comfortable talking about… certain things.”

She gave him a smile that sparkled in the morning sun. “Don’t worry about it. I know you. Just don’t pull that stunt again. I promise not to give you anymore relationship advice.”

“Thank you. You’re terrible at it anyway. Speaking of which, how are you and Bruce?”

“Oh, now you’re just being a mean old man. I just promised not to interfere with you and Tony and you’re doing this to me?”

“Alright, my apology.” Steve laughed and changed the topic.

Shortly after, Tony wandered in, throwing a lazy morning greeting to them both as he headed toward the coffee maker. He was wearing a three-piece dark suit sans jacket complement with a scarlet tie, inordinately formal for someone who always woke up with bedhead.

Vaguely aware that Natasha was looking as though she wanted to say something to him, Steve still couldn’t take his eyes off the way the dress pants lovingly molded into Tony’s behind. It was only when Tony turned around that Steve resumed his attention to his breakfast.

“Why is it suddenly so quiet here? You two been talking behind my back again?”

“Obviously, we did because you’re always the center of the universe, Tony,” Natasha scoffed. “Actually, did you sleep on the wrong side of your bed last night, Tony?” Natasha was never nice with her words when it came to Tony. There was something about him that always ticked her off and Steve could understand the reason why.

“Appreciate your concern but I slept very well last night, in fact.”

“Are you going somewhere?” Steve interjected before Natasha could say something.

Tony made an uncommitted noise.

“A date?” Natasha asked, echoing the question in Steve’s mind.

“It’s not a date. Ty is an old friend from high school. I haven’t seen him for a while,” Tony quickly denied but his expression spoke of great fondness which Steve had thought only reserved for Pepper and Rhodey. “I’ll be back before lunch time. If there’s an emergency, do let Jarvis know and he’ll contact me.”

And that was all Tony said before he drained his coffee, put the empty cup in the dishwasher and left in a hurry.

Natasha waited until Tony’s footsteps were long gone before commenting. “You got a contender, Steve. Tony’s old flame is coming back for him from Europe, I presume. What do you think?”

Momentarily, Steve felt as if the cereal flakes had clogged his throat. He took a swig of his milk to wash the clump down, spooned more cereals into his mouth and chewed on the cold tasteless food.

“If you don’t tell him soon…” Natasha trailed off when Steve gave her a stern gaze. “Yeah, sorry. I won’t intrude into your personal affairs.”

After breakfast, Steve went to the gym and spent his time punching bags and throwing his shield at dummy targets. He was jealous and more than a little angry at the idea that someone could show up out of nowhere and swipe Tony from him. Only the thought that Tony would return for lunch in a few hours kept him from destroying everything in the training room.

By noon, Steve had showered, put on one of his best T-shirts, ordered plenty of pizzas for them both and waited.

At two, Steve ate the cold pizzas and then mopped in the living room with Leo curling by his feet.

Life had been one of duty, his sense of purpose pushing him to join the Avengers to protect and preserve the peace his generation had shed so much blood for. He’d thought that he no longer believed in love after the years of slumbering in the frozen ice until he met Tony who plagued his dreams and encompassed his walking thoughts. He needed more time to figure out his feelings, except that Tony couldn’t wait. Such was his reality.

***

“Steve, have you seen the news?” That was the first thing Bruce said right after barging into the living room. He wasn’t supposed to return from his job until late in the afternoon.

“No, I haven’t. What is it?” Steve asked anxiously, noticing the urgency in Bruce’s voice.

“It’s Tony.”

Bruce grabbed the remote, turned on the television and switched to WHIH Newsfront channel.

_“Breaking news today brought to you by Christine Everhart. At 11:42am this morning, genius billionaire philanthropist playboy Tony Stark was abducted in Upper Manhattan while leaving J-G restaurant. Here is the record of the event from a surveillance camera outside the restaurant.”_

The screen switched to a grainy footage of a parking lot and a figure walking briskly toward his car. The camera zoomed in to reveal the person as Tony as Christine’s voiceover started pointing out a nondescript white van with no license plate parked right next to Tony’s Audi. Just when Tony was about to get inside his vehicle, two armed masked men jumped out from the side door and assaulted Tony. The struggle was brief. One of them grabbed and slammed Tony into the car, another sent the butt of his gun to Tony’s head. Then, they bodily dragged Tony inside the van and quickly drove away. The whole thing took less than three minutes.

The report went on with interviews from the county office and witnesses that left Steve numb and speechless.

Bruce was the one who brought him back to the present with his action plan.

“I’m going to ask Jarvis to find and analyze mobile phones, cameras, social network, and satellites for any information on Tony. We’ll hack into SHIELD if we must. Nick Fury has eyes everywhere.”

Another hour went by, during which a horde of reporters arrived to camp outside the Avengers Tower for statements. Not in the mood to face the press, Steve asked Jarvis to send them away. They holed up inside, waiting for news from Jarvis as Steve paced the living room and Bruce practiced his meditation technique.

In the late afternoon, long after Natasha and Clint had joined them, they heard back from Jarvis who had successfully triangulated Tony’s location. The van had been spotted at two separate locations—a gas station and a stop light, and Jarvis believed that Tony was kept at an abandoned power plant in Yonkers. If SHIELD’s file was to be believed, however, the place had been converted into an AIM base.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” Steve said, zooming in the blinking red dot on Jarvis’ digital map to display the building layout. “We’ll do a three-prong assault. Bruce, enter the main entrance as Hulk and distract them as best as you can. Natasha and Clint, you two infiltrates via the backdoor right here. I’m going to use the Quinjet to land on the roof floor. Keep your radio channel open. Keep in contact.”

After the briefing, piled into the Quinjet and took off. They stormed the AIM base with ease since it was only staffed with a handful of guards. However, after raking the place down, they still could not find Tony anywhere.

“Natasha, have you located Stark?” Steve asked, tapping his comm.

“Clint and I are done sweeping through the basement and the second floor. I don’t think they have him.”

“Contact authorities to clean up this place. Meet me at the entrance in ten minutes. Cap out.”

“Where is Tony?” Steve grabbed one of the goons who was crawling on the floor in an attempt to get away, lifted him up by the front of his yellow bodysuit and ripped off his helmet. “Where the fuck did you keep Tony?” Steve hissed into the man’s thin face and shook him until his teeth rattled.

“Tony as in Tony Stark? I don’t know where he is.”

Angry at the response, Steve punched him in the head, which effectively knocked him out. A second goon soon joined the first on the floor. The third one was more willing to talk.

“Stark isn’t here anymore. He escaped! I swear. Please don’t hurt me! I’m just a scientist!”

Afterward, the Avengers regrouped outside and waited for SHIELD to show up before leaving.

On the short trip back, no words were exchanged. The mood was grave. Everyone kept to themselves in their own corners on the Quinjet. Even Steve who wanted to say something to lift the spirit as their leader could not find words as he found himself too dejected to do so.

***

The first thing that greeted Steve when the glass doors to the living slid opened was Leo hopping on his hind legs and frantically wagging his tail.

“Not right now, Leo.” Steve frowned, pushing Leo away with his boot and pulled off his cowl. “I’m not in the mood.”

“What does it take to get our captain in the mood? Listening to poetry?” Tony’s voice came from some vicinity in front of him.

Looking up, Steve found himself frozen to his spot in bewilderment as he saw Tony sitting on the couch.

“Tony! There you are!” Bruce exclaimed shortly before Clint and Natasha came forward to give Tony’s back an affectionate slap.

“Let me guess. Team dinner didn’t go well? Maybe you should have invited me,” said Tony while trying to bat Natasha’s hand away from messing with his hair.

“Team dinner? Is that what you really think?” Steve asked, suddenly feeling hurt. “No, we haven’t eaten anything. We saw the news and have been running around looking for you. Why didn’t you call when you got back?”

Tony looked embarrassed, his eyes lowered as he muttered under his breath, “I didn’t think you cared enough to notice or to look for me.”

“You’re damn right, Tony. Go knock yourself out next time and see if I care.”

Tony said nothing for a moment, then he glanced away and stood up. “You all have fun. I’ll be in the workshop if anyone needs me.”

With that, Tony started retreating quickly.

“Wait a minute! I’m not done here.” Steve reached out and grabbed Tony’s wrist before Tony could escape. Tony let out an ‘ouch’, flinched and tried to yank his hand back but Steve kept a firm grip on him. This close, Steve could see a cut in the middle of a nasty bruise on the right side of his forehead and red scratches on the corners of his lips, indicating that he must have been at least hit and gagged.

“No! Let me go! I didn’t mean it. Didn’t mean to cause any trouble to you.”

“Tony, stop!” Steve said but Tony renewed his struggle with vigor, this time managing to break free and immediately fled.

“What the hell!” Steve ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

“Steve, you’re being too hard on him,” said Bruce from behind.

Steve turned back to catch Bruce’s eyes and took a moment to collect himself before answering.

“That’s not… I don’t know what happened. I’m going to go and check up on him.”

“Alright, just make sure he’s ok. You should take the med kit in the cupboard with you.”

***

“Good evening, Captain,” Jarvis said pleasantly as usual outside Tony’s workshop.

“Is Tony inside? I want to talk to him. Can you open the door?”

“Mr. Stark has instructed me not to allow anyone entry at the moment.”

“Tell him that I’m here to see him.”

A moment of silence and then Jarvis answered. “I have relayed your message to Mr. Stark. He is currently occupied and does not wish to see anyone.”

“Jarvis, open the door, please. Tony got hurt and I’m here to fix him.” Steve raised the med kit to prove to Jarvis his intention. He wanted to see Tony and didn’t want to deal with Jarvis who was pleasantly annoying at the moment.

“I am sorry, Captain. I’m afraid that I cannot go against my directives.”

Steve took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Trying to reason with a computer was a futile exercise after all.

“Open the damn door!” His fist slammed into the door, suddenly angry.

It took Jarvis a few seconds to reply. “Mr. Stark said you should check your language.”

That did it. Steve took a step back and kicked the door with his heel, then delivered second one and a third, each increasingly putting a dent in the metal and weakening the bolts that held the door in place.

Just went Steve was about to slam his right shoulder into the door and knock it flying, the door opened. Steve staggered inside, momentarily surprised.

“Are you done destroying my thing? How can I help you, Captain?” Tony asked from his work chair, facing away from Steve. He might have attempted to sound sarcastic but his voice was soft as he sat with his shoulders sloped and his back hunched.

“Hey, Tony.” Steve walked closer until he was a few feet away. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. I always am.”

“Are you really? Let me be the judge of that.”

“Huh… I thought you wanted me to get lost. Why are you here anyway? Can’t a man lick his wounds in peace?”

“Your wounds need to be cleaned or they’ll get infected.”

When Tony seemed to make no movement, Steve slowly spun Tony’s chair around. Tony, however, kept his eyes close, refusing to look at him.

Steve set the med kit on the table, took out some gauze and a bottle of saline solution, and started wiping the cuts on Tony’s forehead.

Tony was quiet at first but after a while, he sighed heavily in abject defeat.

“Sorry for letting myself captured. I don’t want to be a burden.”

Steve stilled his hands. He didn’t know how to correctly respond at first and once he did, Tony already said his next line and interrupted him.

“Can’t believe I’m admitting this but you’re probably right about me.”

“About what?”

“Being nothing without my suit. No matter how many times I say ‘I’m Iron Man’, it doesn’t make it true. Anyone can pilot the Iron Man. Hell, even Justin Hammer can make a flying suit. I know you’ve been helping and training me at the gym. I’m just not good enough. Tinkering is the only thing that I can do and I’m trying my—”

“Stop it! You’re not nothing. I said some wrong things about you in the Helicarrier and I never had a chance to correct myself.”

Tony cracked his eyes open, surprise and disbelief flashing in their depths.

Steve gave a small smile and finished patching Tony up. “You’re more important to me than you think. It hurts me to see you getting hurt.”

Since Tony still had that weirdly endearing shock expression on his face, Steve leaned down to brush their lips together to snap him out of it. One of Tony’s hands instinctively grabbed Steve’s shoulder as though to push him away but Steve pulled back before he could.

“What… what was that about?”

Steve hadn’t meant to do it. Exhaustion and proximity to Tony must have loosen his control and suppress his fear of rejection. Not that rejection was something Steve could take very well no matter how many times he’d gone through it before.

Steve could apologize and bow out gracefully, saying something stupid like ‘I don’t know what got into me’. However, he’d been liking Tony and lying to himself about his feelings for so long that he was tired. Tired of hiding, at dreaming of being together with Tony and not doing anything about it.

“I like you,” Steve said the words that sounded true to his heart, letting his fingers run down the side of Tony’s face. “I’m sorry if I ever said anything that hurt you. I got so angry earlier because you were hurt and because I was scared of losing you. I’m not good at dealing with my feelings but I know that I don’t want to stand on one side and feel helpless anymore. Instead, I want to be a part of your life. Do you want to be…”

“Yes.”

“Are you…”

“I said yes, Steve.” Tony smiled, a blush had risen to his cheeks and his smiling face was one of the most wonderful things that Steve had seen. “I like you a lot too. I always do.” Tony buried his face into Steve’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around him and for the first time since forever, Steve felt happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, folks. I know this probably isn't something you're looking for but that's how it is. Thanks for reading.


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